So was this sexism, my EX or both

I know I cant write this was me working through a problem I hope someone can follow it and have a little insight.

Last night/ this morning. December it was cold. I receive a message from my sons’ mother, son is going to hospital he was hurt Saturday night. This is Sunday night. What you waited until now this must be a game I’m thinking. I get to the hospital I am greeted with what I perceive to be a hostile person the front desk lady. She tells me no I can not get back to see my son. I say hey no way I did this last month where I was the parent bringing him in and she was allowed back in the exam room. She says no the policy has changed who wrote the policy I ask. She says I do not know. so after much prying and explaining when I was here last time, they let her in and then she remembered who I was and called security. Maybe because water was spilled last time I was here during the after care embrace with his mother. I explain to security that this happened last month and that she should not have been let in the exam room then If I can not now.

By this time what I perceive to be the head nurse comes over to me and explains that there has been no policy change and that she can not speak for what happened the other night. I say this is sexism. She says nothing in the policy is sexist. I say then why can I not go back there. I then realize we are now going in circles, so I ask for the contact information for who runs the hospital while she goes to get that information, I strike up conversation with the security guy. Who has been mean mugging me the whole time. I ask him if he has children and he says he does two boys. I ask him if he sees them, he says he has 50/50 custody. I think to myself ok this man is going to lay some knowledge on me. He does not… I ask him if he uses OFW. He does not. I congratulate him on this and explain that I we have a court ordered app because that is how toxic our relationship is. Which I did not know was the reason until recently when I watched a movie and the OFW app was in it and that is how it was referred to in the movie. It makes since to me. By then the head nurse comes back and gives me the contact information for the director of the hospital. I explain one more time how I see this as sexism and she explains she is just following policy. I say ok and go to leave. The security guy escorts me out. We strike up conversation as we our leaving and I make a ruling that this guy is not on my side. I ask him what he would do and he says he would go sit in his car and wait and settle on a phone call for the night. So I do. Of course the ex does not answer I smoke a cigg and proceed back in and inform the man that I tried it his way and it is not working. Trying to explain the toxicity to him. I ask him to please go back there and ask this woman to show me the same courtesy I showed her the last time we were here and answer the phone. He does I wait for a call… No call ok I am a little pissed off now. The only time she was not facetiming this boy was when the X ray was going off while I had him at the hospital. So I call her she answers I start asking question she hangs up. So I call back and explain why she should show me the same courtesy I showed her and not hang up on me while our son is in the hospital and the other parent is not allowed in the room. I then proceed to explain to my son that his father wants to be there but the hospital is not allowing him in like they did the last time we were here and mommy got to come back there. His dad loves him and would be there if he could but the hospital will not allow him. So she hangs up again. I smoke a cigg and then call back the doctor is in the room I listen to the doctor and make sure that I am asking him to come out and speak to me after. I asked the doctor to do this last time for her as well, I did it because it was the right thing to do. But as a man and a father I had to ask for it. I also introduced her to anyone who walked in the room via the telephone. I had to introduce myself to the doctor over audio because I do not get any respect as a father. I proceed back in and wait in the lobby. I explain that I do not want the doctor who is about to come out here and talk to me to have to come out and stand in the cold in his scrubs. They agree and we wait. This seems like an eternity to me. So, after a no show of the doctor. I call the ex back. By this time, the discharge nurse is in the room I wait patiently and preach to my son after the nurse leaves my ex hangs up. So, at this point I look back over to the security guard hoping that we will finally relate. He does not… I don’t remember what exactly was said but I said she is coming out and I am going to wait her and embrace my son, so he does not have to be in the cold, and we have to have a hurried hug. Because I made sure that she got the same when he was with me. He agrees but retorques with I’m going to walk her to her car. I tell him that he should and thats a great idea. This tells me this man is at least focused on his duties even though he is a little bitch just my own conclusion he may be an upstanding guy. She comes out with my son I ask her to set him down so there is no confusion as there was the last time we were at the hospital and having an exchange this close to one another she agrees and sets him down. He usually walks from my car to hers and vice versa during drop regular drop offs that how toxic this is. We have an embrace I tell my son how much I love him and that I will see him soon. I then tell the security guard he needs to revisit de-escalation training. I go out to the car and sit and wait. Yea I know now I am being a creep now but that’s not just the new chick he has the hots for and wants to be her white night. That’s also my son so I am observing him because you know he is leaving a hospital. I mean mug him the whole time I am driving away and that concludes the evening.

Some things that I probably omitted was a few more ciggs some where in there and a lot of pacing outside of the hospital. I am sure I looked like a crazy person, but this was not my intent. I am just a smoker and I am waiting outside of a hospital to be honest I think I started smoking when my mom was in the hospital. She died when I was 17. Damn I need to quit. My father two years later and then war twice and now this. I miss Iraq and Afghanistan sometimes.

Another omission is there was a couple more hang ups on me. The reason for the multiple omitted ciggs.

Another thing I left out to make myself seem like more of a victim was she did eventually explain to me that she tried to duo call me and I tried with her at the beginning and it did not work. I get that technology sometimes fails us, but I don’t understand all the hang ups over audio is it because I have a tone of voice that drowns out others maybe, But while the staff was in the room I kept my mouth shut. And she was on facetime the whole-time last time when she was not in the room with him which I never got to do.

I also wanted to mention another exchange with the security guard where he mentioned that he worked in a prison when not on duty at the hospital. I say I have been binge watching 60 days in he then tries to explain how it is not the same and I tell him that I realize it is reality tv and that I was just trying to relate to him. At that point the conversation stopped so maybe he was just trying to not relate to me and just do his job this is dependent on weather or not my Ex went in there talking badly about me.

Something else I omitted about the security guard but might also shed some light is that I asked him if he had the opportunity to take his boys fishing yet. He said he had not. I told him about taking my boy fishing at our house just down the street from here. I tell him live across the street from one of the biggest churches in the town, trying to relate, and that my boy and I walk over there and fish and how I know that the sign says no fishing but we don’t have any bait anyway. I just let him practice his casting with a weight. Yet this man still did not relate his response to me was his are not that old yet.

Something else I omitted to make myself seem more like a victim. She did eventually explain to me he was hurt on Sunday night this was not known to me going in because she had mentioned a nap after he was hurt and then she said that he was hurt at 7:30 PM. So, I assumed he was hurt on a Saturday night and then napped on Sunday. This worried me because there was and incident in her past where her oldest child was hurt on a Saturday night, she fell out of a golf cart and I believe they went to the hospital she had been drinking that night. This was before me I think in between the father of her two oldest and my son. But it turns out that was not the case… but her story still does not match up either way I chalk it up to boys being rough. I must because if not I will be way to scared for him to be with her.

So why was I treated the way I was. They say it was policy, but I feel like I was treated like a man who had a record of beating his wife. I believe these people treated me this way because my ex came in there and said she was victim of some kind. The only thing she is a victim of is taking half my financial worth. I have lost half my shit twice by the way. I can’t go after her I tried this with COVID-19. I suggested that we pull him from daycare at the beginning she said no. I filed something with the court because I believed this to be a medical decision that she was making without me. About 20,000 dollars later I was told to sit down and shut up by a judge. That is a long story my son is in daycare now and I just received a notice that if I have been exposed to covid he cannot be at daycare. Should I use this policy to my advantage the way she did at the hospitals policy. This would achieve my ultimate goal just to be the boys daycare save us both money and I get time with my boy, I know right she has the right to do what she wants with him during her time. So, he goes to day care during her time. Before the divorce, the ladies at the day care would get mad for messing up their schedule by pulling him out for lunch all the time and she would tell them I think its better that he spends time with his dad. Now the ex preaches about schedule and he has to be in daycare on her days. Its crazy what meeting a new guy does for your opinions about things. That is speculation I don’t know if she meet a new guy I know she brought one over to take back our Race care that I was holding hostage for our Xbox. I did not get either in the divorce.

During the COVID-19 court battle. I felt there was a giant injustice done and it really started me down the path of men’s rights I guess that is what I am going to do with these words. I want to help men everywhere be the best dads they can be, so I am probably going to make a reddit post out of this. I know that not much. I am curious to see how many read it or maybe this is the start of my book. I doubt many would read it because it is a story that most men have. Most men just don’t have the time to write it down. I am so fortunate to be able to sit here and do this. I have to remind myself. So like I previously stated I can’t go after her. What do I tell the judge, that she went into a hospital and spread a bunch of lies about me and I was treated like an abuser of some kind. Shit I do not have the money to prove this in court I would have to subpoena the whole staff. And even then that is not a case an attorney wants to take. But a case I might get some traction on is sexism in the hospital. But that is only if she did not go in their spreading lies about me. This is a slim chance I am almost certain that the reason I was treated the way I was is because of what she said about me.

So, what is a man to do. I suppose I will see what this director of the hospital says I wrote her an email hoping to get her to just come out and say that I was treated this way because of what my Ex said but we shall see.

In the meant time I will continue to pay for day care on one of her two days he goes to day care she would have him in for three days but I negotiated to have every Friday he is in daycare, to be with me instead. I think I had to give up some money to her, But I don’t care I came from the Trailer Park and worked my ass off to be where I am. I still eat hotdogs cutup in macaroni. I can go back to being poor and that is basically what is happening. And I am ok with that its 7:14 I have to meet her at daycare at 7:30 because she had to have it this way I wanted an afternoon exchange…