Crosspost "The men's rights movement is growing and it's terrifying" from /r/FemaleDatingStrategy:

I had a rather sad conversation with my cousin and a family friend the other day. They were arguing that men have it so hard, and at times, even more difficult than women's lives. Their arguments were this:

  1. Men have unattainable standards of beauty.
  2. Men have a harder time getting dates.
  3. Men face so much pressure trying to get good jobs and be a provider.
  4. Women tell men to open up emotionally, but when men do, women are disgusted.
  5. Women have more social support than men.

To all these I responded:

  1. Men have unattainable standards of beauty.

Men do not have unattainable standards of beauty. Women do usually prefer tall men, but that's literally it. And even then, most women care more about how a guy makes her feel than how he looks (I know conventionally unattractive men who have no problem getting women because they are so confident). The standard of male beauty is just being tall and muscular. Men are expected to just have basic hygiene and get a haircut every once in a while. What about women? We are expected to be hairless from the eyebrows down. We have to fit the new body standard, which changes every decade. The mere fact that there is always a new body standard shows how much women are objectified. Women are often characterized by and even reduced to their body parts (her boobs and butt). Just look at the media: how many times do you see a half-naked, seductively posed woman vs. a half-naked, seductively man? Look at the music industry, you'll see music videos filled with half-naked women beside fully-clothed men. You'll see that most celebrities are hypersexualized, while the men's focus is just on their music/talents (obviously there are exceptions, but it doesn't take a sociologist to see how much more women are hypersexualized compared to men). Look at Instagramers and influencers. Look at how women are shamed for gaining weight after pregnancy. Look at how in movies and shows, the wife is always sexy and thin but the man always has a beer belly/is conventionally unattractive. Women spend so much money just to look presentable (i.e. nails, hair, makeup, clothing) and the billion dollar beauty industry will show you that. If a woman doesn't want to wear makeup, she's seen as lazy or unpresentable (I have friends who have to wear makeup at work, otherwise they are sent home or are warned to wear makeup next time). Ask any women and I can guarantee you that at some point in her life, she was ridiculed for her appearance (hell, my body was criticized and scrutinized by family members, friends, and "lovers" ever since I can remember)... Women's bodies are seen as public property. Her body can be open to criticism by anyone. She can be sexually assaulted if she is drunk. She can be raped if she wears certain clothing. She can be raped if she is flirty and "asking for it".

  1. Men have a harder time getting dates.

Yes and? Women have a harder time getting respect. When women go on dates, they run the risk of getting sexually assaulted, raped, beaten, or even murdered. That is why women must be so vigilant and picky about who they choose to go on a date with. Men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid that men will kill them. Women will tell her friends that she didn't find this guy attractive but she won't say it to his face, men will literally tell you to your face all the things he finds wrong with your appearance. So many guys I dated have insulted my body. I have never once insulted a guy's appearance to his face-- EVER. Women are scared of creeps because we have been stalked, harassed, assaulted, and raped. Every woman can tell of a time she has harassed by creeps as soon as she hit puberty.

  1. Men face so much pressure trying to get good jobs and be a provider.

Lol so do women...? Society doesn't like any freeloaders, so there's pressure on everyone to be a productive member of society. Women have the pressure to not only have a good job, but to also be a great mother (and be thin on top of that and to satisfy her partner's SexUaL nEeDs even when her body is literally torn from giving birth), and take care of the household.

  1. Women tell men to open up emotionally, but when men do, women are disgusted.

Women are telling men to open up emotionally by going to therapy and supporting one another. From what I heard from other women, they don't like when men use them as emotional dumpsters instead of trying to work on themselves through therapy and actual self-reflection. Men especially tend to do this after sleeping with a woman they're seeing casually, so they expect literally all the girlfriend benefits (they want their sexual and emotional needs to be fulfilled) but don't want the title for some reason...And then they'll dump the woman as soon as they see someone who they deem "wifey material". I have also seen the case where men just open up so much but at an inappropriate level, as they are only acquaintances or friends. Even if women do this, it's seen as inappropriate. Men, just go to therapy!!!! So many women I know work hard on their mental health through therapy and self-care, but I only know one guy who has been to therapy. A lot of men I know suffer from self-diagnosed mental illnesses, but refuse to get professional help...

  1. Women have more social support than men.

Women work hard on their relationships, friendships included. We are taught to be caring to one another. Instead of blaming women, why don't you get your fellow men to start becoming more emotionally vulnerable to one another? Also, women don't necessarily have more social support than men. When I first moved to a new city, I literally had no friends. After a depressing semester passed, I vowed to myself that I would make friends the next year. I followed through and joined social activities and asked people to hang out. I had to put in effort in order to have a social circle.

I'm so tired of people saying, but what about men???? I especially hate hearing men talk about false rape cases, or men joke about having to get a woman's written consent before touching her. How about we talk about the fact that men won't stop raping us women! How about we talk about the fact that men rape women, and then shame her for being a victim! How about men learn to empathize with women? A lot of men do not seem to understand the horror it is to be a woman in this world.

Posted by vaginaprobs_ | 7 October 2020 | Link