I don't want to come across as shallow at all. In fact, I used to be obese at nearly 200 pounds. Am average height and female so 200 pounds looks very unhealthy on me. I'm in my late 20's. Through high school and my first round of college, I was obese and had a host of health issues. Not to mention, I was severely depressed. Additionally, I made all these excuses for my weight (thyroid, birth control, carbs, etc). I was also constantly rejected, and back then I blamed everyone but myself. It took a real eye opener to notice the reality of my problem, especially as my health issues got worse and I had no energy to do anything.

Fast forward to a couple years later and I got rid of the excuses and ended up losing over 70 pounds basically eating whatever I want while closely monitoring calories with an app. Not only did my health improve but so did my confidence and my energy. Fast forward to today and I've still kept the weight off on average, excluding holidays and vacations where I temporarily put a bit back on but comes off fairly quickly. I'm also dating a guy (late 30's) who used to be obese as well, before we met, and lost over 50 pounds. He generally follows keto.

After vacation or holidays, my boyfriend will point out to me if it looks like I've gained weight or if I've gained size. SO many women (all who are clearly overweight) have told me to dump his a$$, calls him a jerk, abusive, etc. All I do is chuckle. There's NOTHING wrong with what he does. In fact, I do the same exact thing if he starts putting on weight. It's not abuse. It's motivating, being honest, and basically keeping eachother in check. Back when he was obese, he apparently had the same issues (bad health, depressed, low energy).

If we were both obese again, we wouldn't have the energy to go out on dates together, our money would go to hospital bills instead of vacations, if we had kids together we would already be too exhausted to take care of them. One of us could possibly die of health complications related to body weight. Our sex drives could be affected. List goes on. And I'll be honest, we might even lose some attraction to eachother. It wouldn't be the end-all be-all, especially since we're attracted to eachothers personalities at this point more but we still both believe physical attraction is important to an extent.

Yet so many people (mainly overweight) don't seem to understand. And I see this more from other women than men. They think my boyfriend is a bad person. They complain about their health problems or not able to get a date. Some of the married ones (overweight) who have spouses in good shape and health complain and refuse to take any responsibility if their marriage starts having issues. I personally believe that both partners should put in the effort to stay in good health and shape for eachother. Not doing so can cause issues down the line, whether directly or indirectly.