Anyone here in a family where the woman is a breadwinner if so how are the family dynamics?

YouMilkIsMine · 2020-04-06T07:15:50+00:00

I'm a stay at home dad, she earns nearly all the money (I make a small amount a month) ... the dynamics are great, I'm a better 'homemaker' than she is... but she still wants some "traditional" roles and this seems to have translated into the bedroom!

2020-04-06T07:48:49+00:00

My mother is the stable-jobbed one in the family, i don’t think it makes any difference

Lion_amongst_gods · 2020-04-06T10:15:23+00:00

I'm from a family where my mother was the breadwinner for the last 20 years. Although domestic responsibility decreased a bit, the financial load was still really heavy on my mother (and she got cancer in the middle and survived). It was a tough time. In a few years, my mother became a hard and tough woman. And it was a critical time in my life too, so she sprang up to be my greatest source of inspiration. Slowly my generation took over the family responsibility and she is retired now.

Minesk · 2020-04-06T12:56:01+00:00

My mom is a very career-oriented lawyer and expected my dad to pick up the housework, but he didn’t and was not happy about it either. Says it’s culturally unacceptable for a woman to upstage her husband (we live in Vietnam), also since she’s busy with work she doesn’t have much time for me and my sister. She doesn’t care much about our culture and just wants a partner who does things she doesn’t, but since my dad is deeply traditional he’s upset and that caused most the tension in our house.

My mom definitely has more sway in family matters since she’s the main earner and knows about law, but my dad still wants a subservient wife, or at least a better homemaker. Eventually she filed the divorce and got both kids. I blame neither cause I saw that coming from years ago.

CristiVasile2000 · 2020-04-06T18:39:21+00:00

It usually depends on the culture.

In Eastern Europe, the wages as very similar, and often one parent got out of employment during various "transition periods" (lots of old communist factories got closed down, people let go without pay, it was nasty).

The shitty part it was that, of course, before a factory went down, they always made cuts, and these cuts favored women. I mean it was always the men first to get fired, and lastly the women.

This was pure stupidity, as due to the working conditions the jobs were segregated and men had to do the actual work, while women usually got hired at accounting and other "support" roles, usually in the office part of the factory.

Letting go the men first, usually means that the factory cannot recover. So it was doomed.

What I've witness during these times was that my mother had no intention to quit. Ever. Despite the pay cuts, despite various opportunities to change the job, she never quit until the entire company went under.

My father lost 3 jobs and on the forth he already anticipated the crap so, one day, he and other 3 guys got together and made a plan to open their own business.

And they did.

In the next months they got almost no money and worked long hours. My father was very grateful that my mother got a wage, and that she payed everything during that time.

After his company started to grow, in 3 years they got most of the contracts from the former defunct company and things improved dramatically for us.

Now my mother had financial problems as her company started to go down. My father offered her a position in his company, she refused, and ended up unemployed and with no compensation as the company got decimated by banks and so on.

She then refused to get another job and stood home since. She was very happy to pose as a "company owner's wife" during the good times then she was quite unsupportive when my father business went under (tough times, bank credits, market decline).

Eventually my father recovered the business and she stop complaining. He got very pissed at her for her attitude back then and now she behaves very good, always reminding us that "your father's hard work kept us alive". No shit...

They live together... I moved away 20 years ago. He still works, she still watches tv all day, but at least she is somehow supportive.

Title	Anyone here in a family where the woman is a breadwinner if so how are the family dynamics?
Author	ajofalante
Upvotes	12
Comments	10
Date	April 6, 2020 6:55 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/fvtx50/anyone_here_in_a_family_where_the_woman_is_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/anyone-here-in-a-family-where-the-woman-is-a.855491 https://theredarchive.com/post/855491

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