Hey guys, I'm Charlie!

As we all hopefully know, today (November 19th) is International Men's Day. Currently, i'm in my dorm at school here in Massachusetts. I (as well as others) have tried multiple times today to start a respectful dialogue about what this day means to me and others around me and no one wants to listen. Fortunately, I think you guys will. Im sorry if its too long or if this isn't the right place for it but here goes:

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First a little background

I grew up in a female dominated household where there was my 2 sisters, my mom, my dad and I. I took after my dad and I am a very sensitive and emotional person as a whole. Im pretty tall but super thin, basically everything that isn't a stereotype for a "Real Man". I'm still in my late teens in my second year of school here in MA. I came here from an all boys high school, quite conservative, very jock-y/athletic based school (i'm a musician/actor so it was tough). We can call that place HS. After finishing my time there, I came to my current school to try and pursuit my art more (referred to as CS). Here, the political spectrum is more of a single point on a graph. You either follow suit and believe in everything that everyone around you believes (extremely left leaning, heavy feminist views) or you face the wrath of the school. I am personally a big advocate for... not that stuff, and I have gotten a reputation for it as well.

in HS, I got bullied, a lot. Not being in any athletic programs and spending all my time doing musicals and playing in the rock band made a lot of people assume a lot of things about me. Even once what I was doing started to be less of a crazy thing, I never realized how much of an effect it will have on you to be in a place where you feel you aren't accepted. Feeling this way for so long I was so relieved when I finished and was going to get the chance to be in a place where everyone was like me and everyone could do and say what they want without fear of becoming "that guy".

Shockingly this is not what I encountered. My first spring break at this school (spring break 2019) International Women's Day rolled around and everyone I knew was talking about it. I asked a group of people, honestly, "When is International Men's Day?" and the first response I got was "All respect lost". That situation spiraled into a multi-hour long conversation, Me vs. ~5-10 women. I tried hard to be respectful and I even told them that I wasn't doing this to try and take away from their day, I was just wondering. The backlash lasted for the rest of that year and even into this year. People walk around and when they see me they would put their hand up high and say "Men are up here" and then lower their hands and say "And women down here right?".

Everyone thought that me asking about this important day, me wanting to know what day out of the 364 options (that is excluding women's day) I would get to see people talk and celebrate me, and my dad who sacrifices everything for me and my family every day. Or even the incredible men that came before and made amazing strides in almost every field imaginable but may have not gotten their recognition.

Today was the first International Men's Day that I was aware of. I woke up this morning and I was proud. I wrote my father and his father thanking them for being the role models they are. And I walked into the dining hall and said nothing. And neither did anyone else. At all. Noon rolled around and I brought it up. I would say to my friends with excitement, "Today is International Men's Day" and they would laugh, thinking I was acknowledging it ironically as they were. I tried exclaiming to them that today is important and they laughed in my face about how every day is mens day and how me advocating for today is hurting them as women. Even teachers and administrators said "Isn't that every day".

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And not one person knew how bad that hurt.

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It hurt because I have suffered from depression and anxiety. It hurt because no one thanked my dad when he worked his 16+ hour days. It hurt because every day in one of my classes we learn about historic/important people on their birthday and there wasn't a single male name read today. It hurt because on my campus I am not free to share my political views because I'm a straight white male and my bias means what I think is wrong.

Most of all, it hurt because I am a Man. I am proud to be a man and no one can take that away from me. It hurt because to the people around me, that is wrong. And people think it's funny that it makes me sad and emotional.

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But i'm here to say, to all of the men out there that may not have been told, or maybe have been told the opposite,

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You are incredible. You may be the reason someones life changes for the better. You could be the only thing thats getting someone through. And god damn if you do something incredible, don't let anyone take that away from you. You deserve the credit you earn, you are worthy of this day and you are the definition of what it means to "be a man". Regardless of whether you're the strongest guy in the room or the smallest. Regardless of whether you bring tissues to the movie theater or manage to watch Marley and Me without tearing up, because you are enough.

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I hope all of you enjoy this day. Have a beer for those of us who "can't" ;)