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Guest column extols the virtues of slavery in New Mexico - Albuquerque Journal

headingtoshore

August 15, 2019

0 upvotes

https://www.abqjournal.com/1349214/paying-child-support-helps-society-ex-new-mexico-is-right-to-go-after-absent-fathers-ndash-and-it-could-make-many-think-twice.html

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Title	Guest column extols the virtues of slavery in New Mexico - Albuquerque Journal
Author	headingtoshore
Upvotes	0
Comments	11
Date	August 15, 2019 7:29 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/cqmnh3/guest_column_extols_the_virtues_of_slavery_in_new/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/guest-column-extols-the-virtues-of-slavery-in-new.871175 https://theredarchive.com/post/871175

Comments

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

If child support payments are slavery then surely when a parent is expected to raise children alone with no support payments from the other, it is also slavery.

This is absurd. Child support is slavery because it is forced labor under threat of imprisonment. A person who is made a slave by child support has no say in the matter, must work or be criminalized. The fruits of their labor are given to the control of the owner, who has no obligation of fair treatment as the employer of a free man might have.

These situations never apply to parenthood. Some women are slaves under the child support system, but no woman is forced to be a mother. Who is doing this 'expecting' in your ridiculous statement above? Do they have a gun in their hands? A woman can choose to have a child or not, having given birth she still has choices, keep the child or surrender it, at any point, with no repercussions.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Ok, my parents met, got married. Both said they wanted kids. We were born. My dad was an alcoholic, my mum tried to get him help. In the end the family doctor advised she take us and go for our safety because there were some situations where we'd been put in danger under his care. We moved, he to London, us to a smaller house. My mum had custody because he didn't want it, but it was completely open and the idea was that we'd spend time with him. She used to take us to London because he didn't want to travel, even though it's harder to travel with young children than without. He never spoke to us, sometimes he'd come to see us and take us to the park but I only remember him reading and smoking, never playing with us or engaging. When I was old enough I used to call him, but he'd never call me. I stopped calling him one day, I don't remember why and never heard from him again. He was sober at this point but just not interested in children. Even now, I get in touch occasionally and he just talks about himself, never asks me how I am. He's never paid child support, I don't really know how it was avoided, I suspect because his money was in assets. I try not to, but I do sometimes feel resentful. They both chose to be parents but he seemed to change his mind when he realised what kids are actually like. My mum always just said he was busy in London, she didn't say a bad word against him until I was about 17, then she explained a bit more. She wanted us to have a dad, it's clear from her efforts to take us to him.

When I hear about Dads who want to see their kids but are prevented it makes me super sad because those Dads care. However there are many situations like mine where the Dad bails and vice versa, the mother should not be put in a position where she can't afford the kids. Ultimately my mum managed, but we spent an awful lot of time by ourselves and had to grow up very quickly. This has had lasting effects and I wish it had been different.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

So then, your mother did not enslave the man. Why are you trying to make this about you in the first place? Just because you think your father should have been made a slave? Because you do not want to think of other women you know, who own slaves, as slave owners?

I asked you to tell me the story because I assumed it must be relevant, and it was not. However I will give you the opinion you seem to ask for.

There is an unusual mix of ideas your story regarding your father's thoughts and feelings. You say for instance that he wanted kids, that he did not want custody, that he did not want to travel - but you also say that you do not recall him engaging with you, he read and smoked, so, I wonder where you got this knowledge of his motivations.

You recognize that you do not really know what went on, why he did not pay, I think you already know that part of this story has been kept from you - it seems reasonable to suppose that what you are lacking is your fathers side of the story.

Believe me when I say that I could thread every statement in the story above into a narrative that paints this man and his estranged wife in a very different light.

I know what it is to live a life cut off from the story of ones own origins, to watch parents grow old, never passing on the answers to questions which hold such meaning. To see them die, taking their secrets to their graves, and to face the fact that you will simply never know.

I will advise you, if possible, to avoid this 'fate of many questions' and to seek truth while it is still alive in the world.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not so much making it about me as using my story to argue for child support. His family and my family also agree he said he wanted kids, they both did, it was planned, everyone knew about it. I think he thought he did, but in reality did not. He was responsible for child support and should've paid, it wasn't my mum's fault he changed his mind or didn't think having kids through.

Parents are responsible for their kids, end of. It's not slavery, it's being an adult.

Granted I think men should be able to opt out before the child is born, that's something I advocate for and it's why I'm on here. Men should also be entitled to see their kids at least half the time unless there are genuine concerns about abuse, following a separation. But child support in my case, and my case is not unique, isn't slavery. Besides, most dad's don't pay child support and a quarter that are legally required to, don't. Funny type of slavery