Evidence r/AITA is sexist?

fgrsentinel · 2019-06-06T17:53:48+00:00

I've never actually been on the subreddit outside looking at stories I find here, but typically it seems that stories here it's a man asking if he's the asshole for something that he said/did to a woman, everyone will call him out on it unless it's blatantly obvious she's the real asshole, in which case the mods are likely to kill the post. I don't have any specific examples, sadly.

Throwmenext · 2019-06-06T18:35:26+00:00

I frequent the sub a lot and maybe there's a discussion to be had about the mods and their behavior towards certain kinds of posts, but I think the community as a whole is more or less not about the double standards. Sometimes it just kind of seems that whichever sort of opinion gets traction first is the prevailing judgement but I've seen it happen in favor of both men and women at times. However if a similar post shows up, you'll typically find people pointing out the perceived double standards that commenters seem to have.

Honestly I don't think it's a sub that anyone here needs to be all that concerned about as there are other subs that do much worse any don't get called out for it enough.

Spirited_Course · 2019-06-07T12:18:12+00:00

I will only share three cases as I had only one post saved from that sub forgot to save the others I had read.

One: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/a17tmp/aita_for_breaking_up_with_my_girlfriend_at_her/

Although the end conclusion was that he was not the asshole for shouting on his gf who was kissing another guy in a party, there were many who called him an asshole. It's so fucked up. A guy who has been cheated on right in front of him doesn't even hold the right to confront his gf. The gf did something really wrong and said that I didn't know we were exclusive justifying the cheating. So a man does not even have the right to shout at a woman he has been dating for cheating on him. Usually if the bf cheats, he deserves to be crucified, be shamed in front of many people. But if the gf does it, you cannot say a word to her, because she has the right to do whatever she wants.

Also, in the thread there were many who confessed their similar experiences, though were supported by the thread, but weren't by their own friends and people. Like literally the same - gf cheating and defending it saying they weren't exclusive and the fucking society calling the gf victim and the bf an asshole. (Note: this for the case of the people these guys were around, most of the sub supported the guy. Just wanted to give the perspective of the society as a whole.)

Two: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bxk596/aita_for_telling_strangers_that_my_wife_and_i_are/

Over here, the sub called the husband the asshole for him not being okay with his wife talking to random men at bars. It's a little fucked up over here.

The thread is locked, so I'm gonna give my perspective here.

See, if the wife goes to random men at bars and just has casual conversation and does not flirt and give her number and start meeting one on one at bars or other places, it wouldn't be a big problem. But it still is because it seems to be sexual here.

When men go to bars they will mostly go with the intention of getting a pretty girl's number other than the food and drinks. If they're approaching a girl, they wouldn't be so innocent that they will just want a talk with the pretty girl and forget it, they will have every intention to have more.

But, the husband also mentioned that she only goes to random men, not women, seems to be sexual here also.

You will never notice a heterosexual man going to bars mostly having one on one conversations with other men, he will want to go for attractive women and try to get her number. It will oddly be that he will mostly have one on one conversations with random men. But mostly a heterosexual man will approach women. Also, on the other hand, a homosexual man will mostly approach men in the bar. So, there is a clear cut sexuality here, even if it is only casual conversation, given the man has every intention to get the woman's number.

What I mean to say is, if it is a bar, it is usually men go to get women and women go to get men. If maybe say it is a social club (not the night clubs) or any other similar place, that's most probably where people are just looking for friendships and that's why you will see women approaching women and having a gathering and men approaching men and maybe having talks in groups of either only men/women or both.

Three: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bxpblv/aita_for_following_my_42m_wife_27f_around_for_an/

In this case it proves how the society has made womanhood into godhood. Over here the wife got very close to her co worker. The OP didn't mean sexually but always very clingy.

I mean what would be said to a husband who is always clingy with another woman from work? I'm sure he would be crucified. He will be told that he does not love his wife anymore, he finds that woman more important.

I want to talk about one on one meetings here, as it seems to be the case where he mentioned "my wife always brings this guy". He obviously did not mention it to be the case directly, but seems to be by the post. And, I would have not said this if I hadn't come across this particular story in r/relationship_advice where a woman who was best friends with a guy who a had gf, and this gf would not allow him to have one on one meetings with her. And, the people of the sub supported the gf. See the prejudice?

So, in this sub when we talk about so much about double standards towards men be it on rape jokes, sexual harassment, the mainstream media, physical abuse (the wife is always called the victim even if she was the one with the knife), etc. it seems to have infiltrated the relationships also, with the husband not having the right to be uncomfortable with his wife getting too close and clingy to another man or even with other men flirting with her. But the husband will often be called an asshole for flirting with other women.

Trust me, the truth is very ugly over here. That's why I only go for casual relationships haha, and I have been investigating such matters a lot on reddit and other forums, and I have come to know that the society doesn't at all respect the husband's emotions at all, his feelings must be validated by the society before he can feel that way. That's odd because feelings are feelings, they're not thought of or designed or controlled. I'm sure he is with his woman because he developed feelings for her and those same feelings give him discomfort when she gets clingy with another man or does anything else beyond friendship. What's wrong with that sub?

Title	Evidence r/AITA is sexist?
Author	TC1827
Upvotes	13
Comments	9
Date	June 6, 2019 5:33 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/bxji0r/evidence_raita_is_sexist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/evidence-raita-is-sexist.876152 https://theredarchive.com/post/876152

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