TL;DR: Find myself fighting between accepting and rejecting red pill teachings on women.

Hello RP community,

I am fairly new on my RP journey and have been enjoying much of the teachings. I am taking things slowly while gradually applying what I've learn and digested into my daily life (exercising, reading practical books, having conversations, etc.). However, I have been struggling on digesting and internalizing the truths of women through RP.

I have forced myself to read through many contributions the community has complied on the subject of women. I don't deny the truths being presented, and can clearly see how everything comes into play. But the biggest setback I'm currently facing is feeling myself constantly fighting against or trying to reject the information I have been given (on the subject of women). I understand this might just be a shock to my system, since I have been conditioned to believe and act a certain way. ("The one", how to treat women properly, "Disney fairytales")

I've also noticed I have become extremely disgusted with women and find it unappealing to even try striking up a conversation. I can't seem to shake the feeling of dishonesty. More importantly, I'm beginning to notice how media plays such a big role in conditioning men to pedestal women.

Has this feeling ever occurred with anyone else in this community? If so, what is some advice on this subject?