tldr: Refuses buy-out, wanted to fight. She ended up fighting off 4 felony charges and lost significant weight. Developed PTSD. Can't find a job due to charges she plead guilty to.
I was married for 6 years and in that time my ex never worked and basically an alcoholic and smoked a pack a day. I transferred all my GI-Bill benefits to her so she could get a $50k masters degree hoping that would motivate her to join the adult world but I learned a hard lesson when it did not help to change her at all. Tried to get into marriage counseling twice but she refused then offered her alcohol counseling to which she also refused. I was really frustrated trying to get her help and filed.
My attorney had her served and we began discussing a buy-out agreement so that we could hasten the divorce with little emotional pain for both of us. For the fist 2 weeks she was on board. After a few back and forth discussions it was determined that I would pay her $15k as a buyout, pay for my attorney to do all the paperwork and get it done after the mandatory 90 day period after she was served. I'm like, great, this is going to be easy.
I come home from works and she tells me of a consultation she had with a divorce attorney downtown this morning. 'He's a big shot, works with celebrities', all this horseshit crap from this air headed woman that I supported for 6 years. She says that her attorney can get her $1,500 per month in alimony pendite lite for 2 years. She's smug and refuses to say another word to me from that moment on. Her attorney advised her and her family to not speak to me.
At this point I went into tactical nuclear mode. It's scorched earth from this moment on. A war of annihilation.
One month passes and I notice one Saturday morning that my pistol is no longer in my night stand. She's been sleeping in the guest bedroom and got home late last night, around 1:30. This is the first time through the separation that she returned home late and I wanted to take advantage of the situation. I had no feelings for her and didn't care what she was up to but I'm sure she would get panicky if I ask were the gun is on this particular morning. I go to the guest bedroom where she's putting on makeup, 'hey, were is my pistol at'? She say's she doesn't know. We go back and forth two more times and she's about to walk out the door to go shopping. I tell her that if she leaves and does not tell me that I'll have to report it to the police that she stole it. She says it's in the garage. I go search the garage, I can't find it. I ask her again where it is, she says it's in the garage and leaves. I search again, again I can't find it.
I call the cops, they come over, we search the garage together. We can't find it. Cop asks for her phone number and call her but she doesn't answer the phone, he leaves a msg for her to call him, she doesn't. Typically horseshit from this woman. Cops calls me two hours later and tells me that I should press charges, I tell him to go ahead and do it. He says I can drop the charges if she returns it.
They charge her with 2 felony counts, some firearms shit, I can't remember exactly.
She returns the pistol to me the next day and begs me to drop the charges. I refuse to talk to her as she refused to talk to me. I drag this shit out for 3 weeks till the preliminary hearing and then drop the charges before at the magistrates office. She already lost 10 pounds freaking out and spent a few thousand on an attorney.
I'm a Realtor so we listed the house for sale and sell it quickly. My reasoning was to deny her the ability to live in it and eliminate the possibility that I would have to pay the pay the mortgage for her. The money from the proceeds is left in an escrow account with her attorney. ($14k). The house doesn't close for another 2 months. I continue to live in it and her with her sister across town.
The family court date is here. We have no kids but go down to the family court building and meet up about the possibility of alimony payments. Sure enough, her attorney is talking about $1,500 per month because I made well into the six figures last year as a realtor. I was a recruiter for the military for 10 years before this past year and only made half of that amount. It's not fair at all! I'm pissed and ask the judge if I go back to my AGR active duty recruiting position if he'll lower the alimony? He agree to lower it to $780 per month! Another win. I cease selling houses for 1 year and go back to recruiting for 2 years in order to pay the alimony and not worry about commission checks. I resign from that again after 2 years and go back into real estate where I left off and after the alimony ends.
1 month before the house closing she logs into my laptop after I go to the kitchen for a bite to eat. She quickly transfers $600 from my bank account to hers. I notice this immediately and as she's flying out the door to cash it out at the ATM try to rationalize thing with her. She says she needs it to pay her bills. I tell her that if she signs the buy-out agreement we initially agree to that I would gift her that money immediately. She declines and leaves, gets the money at the ATM and goes to her sisters.
I drive to her sisters house and appeal to both of them. Give me the money now or I'm going to the cops. She gives me the money after 1 hours of this non-sense. As I'm leaving I turn and tell them both, If you do not meet with me and my attorney this Tuesday to sign the settlement agreement and buy-out agreement, I'm going to the cops to tell them about this bank theft.
Tuesday comes around and she's in the guest bedroom. Are you going to sign or what? She hasn't even thought about my ultimatum at all over the past 2 days. She thinks I'm fucking with her. I go straight to the police station. I tell the sgt on duty exactly what happened and he tells me that she committed a felony (2 felonies actually), also receiving stolen property and some digital device access crime (felony at that dollar amount). He tells me to call him when she's home and they'll come get her... holy fuck. I'm sick to my stomach and emotional. Am I going to do this to the woman I've loved for 6 years, fuck. I call my best friend that was in the wedding, he says to do it. He's supported all my actions up till this point. I call my brother, same response.
I go back home and confront here. SIGN THE GOD DAMNED BUY-OUT AGREEEMENT! She's indifferent and declines. I call the Sgt. This is exactly what happened next. I go into the bathroom and hear her walking out the door with the dog. (I find out later she was going to the cops to file a PFA because I had just yelled at her). As she is getting in her car, the cops pull up, put her in hand cuffs and arrest her as she cries hysterically. I'm in the bathroom crying too. Can't believe what I did.
She's taken down to the courthouse but the judge left for the evening she's locked up overnight till he comes back in the AM to arraign her. 2 more felony offenses. Should have signed the buy-out agreement months ago.
She hires another attorney to defend her against these charges, $1,500. The cop and assistant DA pull me in a side room. The cops says, hey, you never told me she gave you the money back. I'm like, Yeah I did, II was very clear about it and told you everything. Assistant DA says they are dropping the felonies as they won't stick when she goes downtown before the judge and the money was marital property anyways. They want to finalize it here. She's stuck with Harassment and the compute device fraud misdemeanor (a death sentence for a professional career that hasn't even started yet).
The aftermath.
I ended up paying roughly $35,000 in the divorce but she only received roughly $2-3k from what I can calculate. I paid the alimony, my attorney and $1k to her attorney. She got half the equity from the house and alimony over 24 months. She had over $16k in legal bills because she wanted to fight and now claims she has PTSD from the fight that she wanted. She fought off 4 felony charges and lost significant weight. Developed PTSD. Can't find a job due to the reduced charges she plead guilty to.
A Side note: The police in the municipality that we lived in had a history with my ex, which is why they where so eager to 'police her'. She got a DUI 5 months before I filed. 1 month before I filed she threatened to kill herself because I set up a meeting with a divorce attorney. She texted me a pic of a suicide note and I had the police go to the house. I got home 15 minutes later and she was fine but they wanted to commit her but I refused to show them the note. They were pissed and I should have let them take her.
tldr: Refuses buy-out, wanted to fight. She ended up fighting off 4 felony charges and lost significant weight. Developed PTSD. Can't find a job due to charges she plead guilty to.
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