For some backstory, I've been in this LTR for a little over a year now. I had beta tendencies in the beginning, but also had alpha tendencies, I didn't know of TRP, but I definitely noticed some patterns in female behavior before ever discovering it.

This girl has been pretty awesome up until recently, she is submissive, will do anything I ask sexually or otherwise, even having 2 MFF threesomes. She offers to buy me anything I want, she would easily spend her last dollar on me. Basically from what I can see, she is super into me.

Issue at hand, I went a little hard, Red Pill Rambo I guess you could say, I started internalizing TRP about 5 months into the relationship, there were no real issues between us, we had a couple arguments, but nothing overly intense or serious.

Well, like I said I was too alpha, I guess it was a mix of anger phase and things like that. Made me withdrawal affection, and it sort of took over our relationship in a way. We weren't doing as much as we used to in the way of going out. We went on some dates but it was rare, we went out to parties with friends when we could. And I recognize it's my fault. I tried to be too alpha, not only was she not used to it, it's not what she signed up for.

I do wish I could have somehow negated the anger phase, I don't regret getting into TRP philosophy, but people say the best recipe for a LTR is alpha with some beta sprinkled in, and I feel like that is what I was in the beginning (besides a couple things I could have fixed).

Well, the main issue, basically I was using an android recovery program recently, like a week ago, to recover a photo album I had deleted. My LTR was asleep in my bed, and her phone was just there. I know snooping is beta and what not, I didn't really suspect anything because of how perfect she has been, it was more of a "eh, why not?" kind of situation. But there was some stuff.

Over our Christmas break (University) she texted 4 guys. First guy, she chatted with for a couple hours one day, then a couple hours the next, then told him to lose her number because he isn't worth losing me over. Then a week later, her ex from about 3 years ago messaged her, mostly harmless conversation, just some Merry Christmas whatever, but she then blocked him. Then the third guy, she messaged just a hey, right after, deleting and blocking him. Fourth guy was an old FWB, same story, messaged him, then instantly deleted and blocked him. Then hasn't done anything since then (last guy messaged was around middle January).

The theme I saw in the 2 conversations she did have, was that she was venting about me, how I was an asshole or whatever else and she asked their opinions on some fight we had about something. I feel like, my withdrawn affection caused her to go to other guys for validation, or attention or whatever else. But she deleted the numbers every time. I never said she couldn't have guy friends, I never really voiced my opinion on it. Also, she hasn't contacted another guy since then.

However, she never told me, it feels shitty truly realizing AWALT for the first time. Anyway, I had a conversation with her about it, but I never mentioned I looked into her phone data or that I knew. I just steered the conversation towards that, making some jokes, and making her feel bad about it in a sort of subtle way, which makes me an asshole but I wanted to see if she would fess up. And she did, she told me about it, and explained how bad she felt about it, hasn't done it since, etc. I knew all this because I pulled it off her phone.

Basically I feel betrayed, I kept frame in the conversation and kinda let things go. But I don't know what to do from here.

I have some mixed feelings about it, I feel as if I drove her to that by withholding affection, failing comfort tests. However, she did keep it from me, and if I didn't sift through her deleted data and manipulated her into a guilt trip, I would have never found out. She is a great girl in a lot of ways like I said before, submissive, caring, feminine, can't get enough sex and is respectful of me, but this kinda shook me up.

My question is, do I just next her? Or do I let it slide, now that I'm past my anger phase and I can go back to being mostly alpha with beta qualities sprinkled in for comfort. I've never had a problem with girls, but this one has been particularly good to me. I feel bad that I withdrew all affection and most attention in my anger phase trying to be some apex alpha dickhead. I feel this happens often to guys who stumble upon TRP in an LTR, I just don't know if I'm better off with somebody who is willing to be upfront with me instead of running to other guys, or if I should have expected that when I almost completely withdrew comfort, and that I should continue because I like her and just pull back on the asshole qualities a bit.

She felt so bad after telling me she even offered a one way open relationship if I didn't break up with her, again I never said she couldn't have guy friends, it never really came up. I feel as if I created these insecurities within her by being a dick. Then again this could just be rationalizations, and maybe a touch of oneitis.