I've been reading stories written about the bat shit crazy fucktards known as otherkin. The part that is going to bother you, is from my experience, the accounts on housemate horror and something awful are rather tame compare to what I have seen. So get your puke bucket ready, I'm about to take you down a tunnel of horror and depravity that will make your toes curl and your butt cheeks pucker with pure revolting dread. The world needs to know of this ilk, and although i'm not a menenist by any means, I feel like you guys might be able to appreciate my outrage more than others. here it goes.....

Rewind to 2015. I had come home from a short and uneventful military career. As many of you know, I picked a bad time to come back. I don't need to explain the particulars. I had at that time, decided to let everyone be themselves and stay out of it. This was until after calling a co worker a cunt, (she nearly burnt down the kitchen with a grease fire and tried to blame me for it), I was the subject of incredible online harassment by her and her posse of evil acolytes. This included numerous articles on tumblr of course, throwing a monkey wrench into my search for the future mrs. warpig. but they didn't stop there. The bitch got me fired a month later claiming I was "sexually harassing her". I know mule deer that are more attractive than this woman, and had no interest in her. But she had alot of clout with the manager, a fellow femo nazi, so I got canned. I got heavy into libertarianism and the pirate party after that. I did nothing but further make myself unemployable due to my rabid freedom loving attitude.

Life went on a downward spiral from there. I took a job as a bartender, and had to land myself a new living space. Thats when I met THEM. It started very innocent, as these things often do. I answered an add on craigslist for a a very handsome sized basement that was going for an astounding 400 a month. Now in California, this is UNHEARD OF. I was elated. It seemed too good to be true. It was. When I arrived at the location, I discovered the house to be in an abysmal state of disrepair. The owner of the house it turned out, was ripe smelling a 300 pound woman in a medieval looking black dress and cape who called herself Avalon. Spoiler, her real name wasn't Avalon.

After greeting me at the door, she took me through a filthy trash strewn house to the basement I was to call home for the next year. To my surprise, It was very clean and tidy, had it's own bathroom that was in decent shape, and phone jacks so I could set up my own internet. The previous occupant even left their furniture, Which at the time was great for me, owning none of my own. But I failed to deduce that the reason for this, was they left in a HURRY.

The first month passed uneventfully. Although she watched movies at a brutal volume, this didn't bother me much. My after work ritual was cranking the builders and the butchers, and drowning my sorrows in bacardi. I had once invited her down for dinner, and served her some of my god-like jambalaya. According her, Avalon was a vampire. I asked her when her most recent kill was, and she informed me that she sucked other people's "Aruas" and that I need not fear her. I said "that's great! would you like to see my rifle?" thinking, hey, why not put my cards on the table?

But when I whipped out my scuffed up m4, she freaked out. I mean THREW A FIT. after overturning my table and screaming at me that I was a rapist, she finally chilled out and decided not to evict me if I promised to keep the m4 at my brother's house. Because according to her, white men owning guns is rape in itself. Who would've known? But anyway that was the first negative encounter of many. Btw, I hid the rifle under my couch. I was not going to live here unarmed.

Her friends would come over from time to time. Each was stranger than the other. One was a skinny heroin addict who called himself Kenshin takamori. He wasn't japanese. He insisted he also was a vampire, AND a wizard. vampire wizard. Sure why not? I'm mickey fucking mouse, and Gnomes sneak into your house every night and cum in your sock drawer. Who cares right? cheap rent right? It takes alot to send my weird meter into overdrive. I love to read about Alleister Crowley and the occult/paranormal. Maybe they just take nerding seriously. I'm kind of a dork too, I thought. How could I judge.

I also met Kenshin's old lady too. Acccording to her, she was a Wiccan high preistess and a werwolf. I later dated a wiccan girl I met at work, and nobody from her coven had heard of her. She even fucked up the dates for summer and winter solstices. When angry she would begin to bark and snarl, I thought that hilarious and had to stifle laughs. This weird little cult did rituals in the back yard, mostly curses against trump that involved alot of singing. Once again I was indifferent. I hated the government for paying me badly and I think the apprentice sucked.

I saw a couple of incredible feats of filth and apathy. Once I asked to use her toilet because mine was backed up, bad idea. If you've ever seen a toilet that hasn't seen a brush in awhile, imagine that times ten. next to it was the bathroom version of bald mountain from fantasia, complete with flies buzzing around it like demons. It consisted of a god awful mixture of dried shitty toilet paper, tampons, hair, and god knows what else. I noped out and shat in the yard. I was later yelled at for this. As a navy guy, I keep my head fucking spotless. So this was especially bad for me to witness. but the real trouble came when I brought my doberman, Dexter, into the situation. I wish to this day I hadn't done that.

He had been staying with my brother until I found permanent lodgings. After alot of shmoozing, and an offer of 100 dollars more on rent for his presence, she allowed me to bring my best bud in to share my quarters. The day I brought him in Avalon was already set against him. He tried to greet her like he did everyone, and she recoiled in horror, and said "get that fucking thing away from me." I tried to explain he just wanted to sniff her out, but she started screaming at me to take him downstairs, so I did. Screaming and violence seemed to be Avalon's go to for problem solving. For the first few weeks everything was fine.

Then Kenshin got a sword. It was a spiffy katana, as a katana owner myself this was the only thing I ever bonded with one of them on. I brought up mine, and we compared blade structure and handling techniques. As I said I'm a bit of a dork too. But one day that sword took more from me than any tool I've ever owned or known. I came home from work one day to find Avalon screaming at me as soon as I came in the door. She screamed "that fucking animal nearly killed kenshin! the cops are on their way you fucking rapist!!! good riddance!"

laying on the floor was my buddy, bleeding from sword cuts, and taking his last breaths. I took him in my arms and we cried together until he was gone. I still don't know how he got out, or what happened. I knew kenshin didn't have a mark on him....

The cops didnt get their soon enough for kenshin though.

I jerked the sword out of his hands and beat him to a fucking pulp. He was lucky I was in a blind rage and didn't think to use the sword on him, becuase looking back I wish I did. I've never been a violent person, but I saw red when Dexter died. I've never beat someone that bad. And yah, I got arrested. The cops were sympathedic, and to Avalon's outrage they gave me a drunken disorderly, and one of them even hung on to dexter's body for me, so I could give him a proper burial. Normally I fucking hate cops but I'll be forever grateful to these guys. I moved out after that.

I know most otherkin are harmless outcasts, I don't care. I was raised by snake handling pentecostals, and no matter how harmless they look, people who live in a fantasy world are insane, and need help. there should be no laws protecting them. They should be trolled and bullied until they grow the fuck up. Today is dexter's birthday, and I'm too fucked up to keep typing. FUCK otherkin and everyone else who remains 5 years old their whole entire life.