Hello anyone reading,

I will try to be brief so this does not become a snore fest.

I have a close friend for awhile now that has been struggling with relationships for the greater part of his life. He's expressed to me his lifelong goals of marriage and kids and I try to give him some advice by helping him approach his failed relationships rationally and objectively to figure out what went wrong. However, 100% of the time he eventually sees it as me putting the blame on him and will eventually disagree with a majority of my points, to the point of being bitter and hostile.

I will break down some of the flaws of his that eventually leads to his inevitable failures:

  1. He is extremely impatient - The moment he finds that initial 'click' with a chick, he immediately plays 21 questions. There is no natural flow in developing the relationship, he wants to make sure all the items are checked off and once they are the next step is lets be gf/bf so that they can move in-together and he can get engaged (being hyperbolic, but you get the idea). This usually scares/reserves the chick and in turn he becomes confrontational about it which leads to the next flaw:

  2. He is confrontational. It doesn't help that he has some very strong opinions. My advice to him was to curb some of his strong opinions in more of a non confrontational way, but he just cant help himself. If he feels a girl is wrong about something he will express it, which is not a problem in and of itself, but his approach is always hostile. Eventually the girl doesnt see the payoff and tells him its not working out.

  3. He burns bridges, the moment a girl displays any sort of reserve or disinterest or even if he feels its not going to where he feels it should be going he feels the need to cut them off 100% and its not worth the effort.

  4. He is not a genuinely kind person. He comes off as an asshole and has a lot of negative emotions. He has very little empathy and he is a very stubborn and selfish person.

He also displays the 'niceguy' trait (resents chicks for not giving him a chance), he does have oneitis, he is very emotional (acts impulsively on his emotions), he is insecure, he does lack some confidence (although that is not as bad as some of the other traits I have mentioned)

There is a ton more you can imagine but I think this is the gist of it.

He does want to change but he doesn't have the support group that he needs except me, which he will not listen to me at this point. Almost all of his friends will ignore his rants about his failures OR give him the most garbage sentiment: "She was just not for you" "The right girl will come along" "Just be yourself"

If anyone could help me with some sort of source material that can help him have clarity and change some of his mentality or perspective I would greatly appreciate it.

if you have any more questions please let me know.