Things I Wish my Father had Told Me: Yelling | Men Are Good

Rasalom72 · 2017-02-10T18:28:35+00:00

Or, you could stop catering to a woman who is being unreasonable and walk away...

cymrich · 2017-02-10T20:46:06+00:00

my GF does this frequently... to the point that she herself will be yelling and then she will turn around and tell me to stop yelling (and just like he says in the video, I am not actually yelling at that point). it is infuriating!

orilyrily · 2017-02-10T20:23:39+00:00

This guy misses the point entirely. In his couples therapy experience he advises men to speak "softer" to these irrational people so it is not misconstrued as "yelling".

He is attempting to use rationality against irrational people. At this point anything the man would say would be "yelling" regardless.

What actually occurred was that the woman used a tactic to derail the conversation and make herself the victim. Successfully suppressing the mans point in the first place.

The men in his example have come to couples therapy because their conversations at home go exactly like this and it just de-evolves into a "they totally yelled at me" argument. So what does this therapist and his wealth of expierence do? He lets it play out just how it does at home... no wonder the male suicide rate is so high.

krustyy · 2017-02-10T18:30:33+00:00

I don't think this is necessarily a mens rights thing, nor is it exclusively a male thing, but it's very good information nonetheless.

I have a mile long fuse and could have a calm and rational discussion for a very long time, provided the person on the other side of the conversation doesn't start raising their voice. Once that starts happening it's impossible to continue a discussion at a non-escalated level. My wife's whole family is a bunch of "passionate" speakers. The passionate is in quotes because I consider it yelling. They do it even when not angry and could get louder, but it sure as hell is yelling compared to the type of conversation I was expecting to have. It took me a long time to understand the difference between them being passionate and flying off the handle because of this.

Both men and women need to understand this, no matter who they're talking with. If things start to get heated, all parties need to learn to calm the fuck down, regardless if you choose to categorize something as yelling or not. Raising your voice in a discussion, debate, or argument is a sign of a lack of your own emotional control in the same way that cussing excessively or flinging insults is and it hinders effective communication. Save the high impact communication such as raised voices and cussing for when it's truly necessary to make an emotional impact as overuse will cause it to have no good impact at all.

zfighter18 · 2017-02-10T22:49:46+00:00

My mom does this to me and I don't yell at her. In fact, I never have. She pissed me off but I know that yelling won't help. Yet every time she's angry at me, "Don't yell at me." "I'm not yelling.".

"Do you think you're my father?"

"I'm not yelling, though"

Title	Things I Wish my Father had Told Me: Yelling \| Men Are Good
Author	mankindglobalmedia2
Upvotes	10
Comments	6
Date	February 10, 2017 12:28 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5t706y/things_i_wish_my_father_had_told_me_yelling_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/things-i-wish-my-father-had-told-me-yelling-men.932224 https://theredarchive.com/post/932224

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