A while ago my attitude towards sex started to change slightly. I used to want sex as soon as possible with women I would date, and would close hard, often without success. Now I actually prefer to draw things out a bit.

This is a taste I acquired involuntarily--I started dating a woman who I was only moderately attracted to initially, but she held out for awhile and by the time we did finally have sex it was amazing. It became my modus operandi to try and recreate this situation when I could.

So now when I date women, I still initiate physical contact, making out, etc., early on in order to titillate both of us, and go through the usual progression to sex until she stops me. When (if) she does, I am happy, because it's what I've been waiting for. In my mind I am applauding her. I back off completely and tell her I understand.

This was not something I started doing as a premeditated strategy in order to make women really want to fuck me, but as anyone here can predict, that's exactly how it has worked out.

I have a hard time keeping sex from happening later than the second date. Once the spark has lit the fire, all I have to do is stay out of the way. I continue to initiate kissing and physical contact so that she will feel like a woman, but I apply no pressure. She is the one who suggests we go inside her house for drinks, who suggests we go back to her bedroom, who asks if I've brought condoms "just in case" and so on.

There was some movie where someone tells the story of the young bull and the old bull standing on a hill, looking down at a herd of cows. The young bull says, "we should run down the hill and fuck one of those cows." But the old bull says, "No, we should walk down, and fuck them all." That old bull was smart.