My girlfriend has left me and took my child. Honestly I couldnt see her with anyone else I think it would drive me insane. I am busy with work allot so where as I used to come home and see the baby every night I would not be able to have him much just every other weekend when Im not working. I feel like the pain of missing out of everything like im going all his first steps words holidays everything and I just think whats the point even being some part time dad every other weekend and have the torture of having to see/deal with her and see her with someone else or hear my child going on about new partners. And having the pain of a constant reminder seeing a child change and me missing out on it all the development and the constant reminder of the family I lost and felt so happy with.

So I have just literally been avoiding the child and I feel like deep down I dont intend on seeing him again as it will hurt less to pretend they both never existed than to have a constant reminder of what I am missing.

I anticipate allot of people will disagree with me or think im an ar*****e for behaving this way and feeling this way. I guess I wanted to see if anyone else has felt this way and if it was easy enough to just pretend they never existed? Or if anyone has any opinions or advice?