Finally.

15 years. That’s how long we were married. And for most of those years, I was filled with anger, so was she. We fought over everything and nothing at all. Some nights, we’d go to bed without a word, lying there in silence, both of us too exhausted to fight but too bitter to care. A few years ago, she cheated on me. I never confronted her about it. I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. It wasn’t just the betrayal that hurt, it was the realization that we had become strangers, that maybe we had been strangers all along. And through it all, I was battling something within myself :) the growing suspicion that I was more attracted to men than to women. She never made it easy to stay. Every achievement, every milestone I worked for was dismissed, belittled. No matter how hard I tried to build a future for us, it was never enough in her eyes. And yet, despite all that, I stayed. Maybe out of duty, maybe out of fear, or maybe because I hadn’t yet figured myself out. One of the most painful things was how she treated her own parents. She had a short fuse with them, always temperamental, always impatient. She would leave me with them when she didn’t want to deal with them herself. But I never saw them as a burden, I saw them as people who deserved kindness. I cared for them, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I felt sad for them, for the way she treated them, and in a way, I felt guilty for feeling more empathy toward them than toward my own wife. Now, I’m free. The divorce decree is signed, and everything, every material thing, went to her. I let it go without a fight. No kids, no shared assets to battle over, just the relief of closing that chapter. The hardest part? Coming out. I didn’t make a grand announcement, no big revelation. It was quiet, subtle. But even that was enough for my world to shift. My friends, my family, my circle, they’re pulling away. Some are distant, some are gone completely. It hurts, but not as much as staying in that marriage did. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe. It’s lonely, it’s uncertain, but it’s mine. And maybe that’s enough. :)