So our next mediation session is about the equity in our house. (We’re in Dublin, Ireland)

I’ve moved out.

We earn roughly the same. 60k

She also gets the child benefit for our two young boys. About 320

I’ve agreed to pay 1400 a month maintenance. Which my solicitor says is generous.

I couldn’t afford to rent nearby so have moved in with a woman I met 4 months ago. Half her mortgage is about 300.

I moved out a month ago. When I was in the family home I would take the boys to Creche every morning. I really miss it.

We’ve agree access every Tuesday/Thursday and every other weekend

At the end of our last mediation session the ex hinted at a 75/25 spilt (me getting the 25% and paying 25% to essential upkeep of the family home). Her argument being I’m no longer paying 50% of the mortgage which is 1800. Creche fees are 1300 plus maintenance of the boys, so if I was paying her 1550 plus around 1200, so 2750 by her reasoning I could get 50% of the house equity.

My solicitor says most judges would award a 50/50 spilt and not to except anything less. To do this I’d have to pay 50% of household maintenance on the family home. And he said to be careful with who she gets into the house now I’ve moved out - I know she is planning to Airbnb out the spare room.

The outcome I eventually want is for her to agree to sell the house and we buy our own places. Easier said than done in the pricey area we live. I’ve already hinted that I would except less equity to buy a smaller place or flat so she can buy another home with the boys. She’s saying that to borrow more from the bank so she can reconsider selling that she needs a mediation agreement in place saying I’ll continue to pay 1400.

If it’s useful info the house is worth about 550,000. With around 400k left on the mortgage.

So my choices seem to be at the moment

  • agree less than 50%
  • get a 50/50 spilt agreement
  • if she won’t agree 50/50. Cancel mediation as I won’t except less on paper. And go to court down the line to get 50%
  • if she won’t agree 50/50. Move back into the family home so I can afford to pay 50% of everything. But that puts us back to square one. Even though I’d love to see more of the boys.

Any advice appreciated. As I’ve said above, I have a solicitor, he’s good but charges a lot and I’d love to hear any advice or experiences you guys have had.

Thanks!