Recently the wife stated that she no longer wants to be married to me. This comes as a complete shock since I had thought we were making head-way towards rekindling our friendship as well as our marriage as a whole.

The situation as it stands;

We've been together seventeen years, married for fifteen. At the beginning of our marriage it was agreed that I'd be the homemaker and she would be the money. At the time we got together she was very well employed and there was no hope of me getting work anywhere near as well paying. I took care of everything so that all she would have to do is work and come home giving her time to seek out any activities she would like. I find pleasure in working with my hands and have social anxiety so we seemed a perfect match. With the exception of when I'm too ill to move the family has gotten at least two home cooked meals a day; that's from scratch, none of that out-of-the-box crap.

There have been both good and bad times for both of us and just over five years ago we had an exceedingly rough patch that tore us apart. In the time since I have worked on my physical and emotional state so that we could try to mend. It seems that she was only giving me lip service and actually had no intention of trying to work towards a future together.

There's one adult child, not mine biologically but I love him like he is my own, and one pre-teen.

We live in the rural pacific northwest with me still being the domestic as well as trying to start a CSA(farm to table business) so that I could contribute financially as well as provide food for the household. Since her proclamation that we're done I have been hustling to sell off my possessions in order to replace the engine in my truck. I hope to be able to go out and find work but due to her schedule and her unwillingness to let me use her car I've so far been unable to. Luckily I have a friend who is loaning me a vehicle while I clean and tune it up for them to sell but that won't be for much longer.

My wife is unwilling to file because she doesn't want to seem like the bad guy to our youngest so I am safe for an indeterminate amount of time before I'm looking for a bridge to sleep under. I have no savings, no vehicle, no family support, no landing place were she to kick me out tomorrow. I'd have whatever I could physically carry and nowhere to go.

My ultimate goal is to sell off the remaining high-dollar items I own in order to get my truck running, apply for a spot at a working farm(trade labour for an independent living space as well as a plot to grow produce), and go through the legal process of divorce. From what she has said to me it seems as if she expects me to magically disappear one day and that's it. We discussed the repair costs of the truck and she agreed to pay a portion totalling to about a third of the cost. To that point I provided her a detailed parts list along with costs and reliable online retailers she could shop at. It's been just over nine weeks and nothing has been ordered as far as I know.

I'd really like to speak to a lawyer but I don't yet have the money to pay for a consult. I have two really good recommendations for pro-men's firms in the area and am going to seek assistance with one of them once I have cash flow.

I'm open to any and all advice and questions.