Long post ahead just thought id warn you

So a little back story me and my I guess still wife haven't gotten a divorce yet were best friends through high school then once we graduated we started dating. About 2 months or so after that we found out she was pregnant we had the baby life was good stressful but good. Fast forward to today after 6 years of a relationship and 10 years of knowing each problems start to arise. they started about July of 2018 starting with I didn't give her enough affection and she was craving it it was a pretty big fight ended in tears and I dont know if i can do this if this continues all that jazz. I fix all the problems start texting her very long and detailed messages about how much i love her every morning and just showing her more affection. This last about a month and a half then another fight that i dont clean enough around the house and its always left up to her. So I make a cleaning list start waking up about an hour earlier and start taking care of the house more. This fixes things for about another month and a half then the BIG fight she breaks down and says she wants to split and that she doesn't know who she and she needs to find her self and she just needs space we fight then end up sleeping in separate rooms. A hour in to sleeping in separate rooms she comes and says sorry and to sleep in the bed and things slowly get better again. Not even a week later she comes to me and says she doesn't wanna be with me and she has feeling for someone else I think this is the end it kills me and i felt like my heart was ripped out I left came back later and she left in the dudes truck and slept with him that night. Next day she trys to tell me shes gonna stay at the house i tell her no we get into a screaming match i end up letting her shower and she plans to leave. I stop her before she goes and we talk shes still mad so i leave and take a drive about 30 min later she texts that she wants to talk we talk and fix everything decide on counseling and things truly seem to be on the up and up sex was amazing she was happy i was happy it was nice. Then the final blow she randomly tells me shes needs space sh needs to find who she is she lost herself and this is something she has to do alone and i cant be there. I finally decide to give her space and agree then i get a weird feeling and check the phone bill saw they guy called her and i went nuts causing a huge fight between us.She had intentions of staying committed but after i blew up she said that wasn't happening now. but we have talked a few times since then and she spent the night at the house to see our daughter and it felt like we were friends again we were joking talking and ended up smoking and eating ice cream watching tv. Im so fucking confused and could use some input i wanna wait around for her cause i know she is actually going through stuff shes always struggled with anxiety and depression but this is all so hard its only been a week but feels like a month. Any input would be nice