So my SO and I are separated... well at least that's what I told her. She moved out after a big fight, one that actually left me more damaged than I had considered. She used hateful speech, directly trying to hurt me... and pummeled me. Like... black and blue and swelling. (I documented everything).

Now she's not a violent person, and our fight was mostly about me, but this whole thing has made us realize how f-ed up we both are.

She has taken some time to realize that she has a lot of work to do - abandonment and survivor issues - and I was happy to help her get that help, but over the last 2 years, she never tried. Now she wants to, and to her credit isn't telling me to stay so she can fix it.

Oh yeah, I'm also moving to another city for a new job that I took so we could save money to buy a home... blah blah blah. Point is, I have all this going on - plus my freaking car was stolen this weekend - and I somehow have to make sense of this all.

She's been - honestly - great about space and distance. Respecting me when I ask for it. But my family - sister and brother mainly - have been pushing me to talk to a lawyer to get separation documented.

I feel like this is a nail in the coffin if I do that, but then again, I don't know/feel like this is repairable. I'm leaving a huge amount of this story out, but the basic framework is there.

Thoughts?