My STBX thought that because I earned 2x her salary, I was obligated to pay her alimony. WRONG! Guys, just because there’s some income disparity, it doesn’t mean alimony is automatically required. She was told by the judge repeatedly in court.

Alimony used to be common, because 1) traditionally, households still featured a breadwinning husband. 2) many of these marriages endured for extended periods.  In modern days, the average duration of marriages has decreased and financial self-sufficiency has increased. For dual income households with marriage length less than 10 years, the necessity for financial assistance diminishes, especially if both of you are employed and have no children.

So don’t listen to the “general idea” of alimony. Exercise your critical thinking. If you are being asked for alimony, my first suggestion is: anything you can resolve with money, do it and end the case soon; if money is tight and you don’t think your STBX deserves it, know it’s not automatic and you don’t have to pay for it. Stay calm and negotiate.  It boils down to two things: It’s a matter of analyzing lifestyle and proving financial needs. If you are not a multi-millionaire,  save financial analysis fees with the attorneys (most likely another $5000-$10000)  and do it yourself with tools like this. Unless there are some special circumstances like disabilities or chronic illnesses or special needs, it’s getting harder and harder for people to get alimony. So don’t freak out. Sit down and go through your financials first.

That said, don’t be stingy. If there are children involved, having a good relationship with the other parent will save you a lot of trouble in fighting about child custody or visitation rights. If there's no children involved, what's more important than your time and energy. Good luck!