38 m here and have been married for 8 years. There have always been problems but I was optimistic and willing to try and work on my issues.

Since I'm from an asian culture, got into an arranged marriage to keep my parents happy, since I feel they did they best they could and wanted to keep them happy.

We got married as total strangers and thought we could figure our selves out. Tbh i didn't care about the past at all and believed people could work out a solution always. I was not told or knew about her past before and after marriage she started revenant she had a horrible childhood and was shocked by the way her parents were with her. I could understand she suffered and tried to be her rock , but sadly I also had a bunch of issues i needed to work on.

We became parents immediately after marriage , which was an unplanned pregnancy, and I still believe we were not ready for it. In that shock I did not switch immediately to dad mode and was an absent dad in the first 2 years of having my daughter. Wife had a difficult pregnancy and I was not my best I admit it. I realised it and tried working on giving her the life she needed. At first I believe it was indeed my faults and I needed to work on bettering myself. I did and worked on resolving the complaints and mentality I had on certain things. It never ended , there was always something more. The issues she hafdto work on, I Tried being vocal, she said she understood but always came back to the issues she had with me and and never about the issue I wanted her to work on.

We have a 7 year old daughter, who I can still admit , im not the best father, but is such a good kid as I have raised multiple cousins and kids growing up and she is such an understanding kid. She has some bad habits but nothing a bit of good parenting can't solve I feel. My wife always complained about how she cried as a kid and had to wake up and apparently she alone seems to raise her which I disagree.

I have worked on being more present, more responsible, more active and it's never been enough. She says she wants a man who makes decisions , but when I do , she questions and didn't follow my lead and when i try and discuss about my idea and thoughts she feels overwhelmed and complains I don't make any decisions.

After the latest bout , I asked finally did she have no hope or was no recovery possible for us, and she said no. I'm defeated and tired. I don't want to put in any more for something which will never change. Her last statement of I know my value struck a nerve and I have also decided so have I.

8 years of changing and trying to be there someone with a difficult past seems to have just been a slap across my face.

So here I sit contemplating what to do in this ditch and move ahead without affecting out child who is an innocent bystander and worried how to break this to his folks.

Any advice guys?

Ps

Living in a foreign country and can't leave if I want to keep seeing my daughter who became a citizen with her mother.