My story is a long one, I've cut out a lot of details to save time. After 24 years of marriage and after dealing with her 3 affairs that happened 10 yrs ago, the stbxw did it again. This time she is in love with a woman. She says the dreaded I love you but I'm not in love with you. I was crushed, devastated even. She said she would stay two years in the marriage till financial issues were resolved and then she was out. I waited till the next day and told her to pack her stuff and get out. As she packed her clothes she expressed her true opinion of me and then walked out the door without saying a word to her kids.

I have my kids and since then have found out more and more about her. Her current affair has been running for 3 years of which I have no idea how long it's been physical nor do I care, but wait there is more. Yes she had at least two more affairs that I didn't know about. That puts this at six affairs and I think there were more than that most likely.

What's my point? You can not be responsible for someone else's decisions. I was faithful to her always and you were too. You loved with all of your heart. Some people are just broken, just hard broke. They're so broken that they can't love you since you are not like them, people attract similar people and since you are faithful you can't fit in their world.

There is always hope but sometimes that hope is for you to break free from a horrible abusive relationship. Yes you will be sad and grieve over the lie you thought you had called a marriage. You didn't choose for her to sleep with whomever she did and the lies and the hurt you feel will take time but it is the right thing to do. You didn't choose the murder of your marriage or the devastation to your children. You do choose when to end it and you can choose when to forgive. Forgiveness really? Yes! Forgiveness is the key, she is who she is. She can't change, once her honor is lost she is set on a course that she can't get off, she pretended to be what she can never be and eventually the truth has been shown. Misery will follow her and visit like a close relative at times. Yet that isn't your concern, yours is the peace needed to more on and rebuild a life worth living. Forgiveness enables you to do so and enables you to meet the next person who will join you in the next chapter of your life.

Being a guy the world seems to think all men are cheaters and all women are sweet and wonderful and many women are but there are some of us guys who still hold vows and honor so tightly that it is the very fiber of our being. To you who like me who hold these truths as closely as life, I say today is the first day of a new life, a better life filled with truth and light. Let us rise up and dust off the ash and walk from this sea of waking dreams and lies into a future bright. There is someone wonderful waiting for you, she is out there though it take time, you will find her and rescue her from her loneliness and in return she will rescue you. Just walk and breathe. Lift up your eyes and stop staring at the past, it hurts I know, I really do know. Start down your new path, baby steps at first. Rebuilding the new you is also key, change things up, exercise and hang with friends. Help others and by doing so you'll help yourself.

Now I'm waiting for the divorce to be final but in my heart it is done and I've moved on. One day I'm sure she will look back but only a shadow of my memory will be there. I'll find my true one, but until then I will be walking down a long road. I like seeing new places...