I(18) go to a top 5 University in the world and do a good degree. I'm 6ft2 and in good shape yet I still lose. You work so hard and you still lose, on paper surely i tick all these boxes but I'm still a bum and a loser. I don't understand what I need to do I take every step to self improve. I look in the mirror, I look normal, only extensive plastic surgery will change me. I don't understand why I'm still a beta im meant to be that guy im meant to be top 1% type of guy. And I know im still so undesirable, women who let random bums 1 night them but me they want to have a relationship and take it slow. This is why I dont believe the redpill, im almost archetypal and still dont get any play. I have got to be autistic or maybe I look way, way worse than I think I do. I'm such a disgusting loser, its obvious that my personality is to abhorrent to build any real relationships. But it can't be that because you see plenty if guys with poor personalities enjoying their lives. I would take on MGTOW ideas but I dont want to go my own way I'm 18 I want to enjoy my life I want to be that guy. Why shouldn't I kill myself tomorrow? Its obvious, I have too much to live for and my life prospects are too good, this is what I've done to myself. I worked so hard to put myself at a crossroads where im a loser but I can't kill myself because it would be a bit odd. Will I always be a loser no matter what? I need some more ideas about how to improve myself or some copes at least.