Incel detox?

BigAngryDinosaur · 2016-11-05T20:22:04+00:00

The biggest problem with "support" communities and dating/relationship communities online is that they shift the narrative in your head from "something is wrong with me" to "something is wrong with everyone else/women in general."

They implant ideas in your head about what other people are thinking when they look at your or interact with you, so if you're already self-conscious as a person you will find yourself automatically assuming the worst from people, you will distrust the intentions of people being friendly and you will scoff at the "expected" reactions of people who are unfriendly or have poor social grace.

These places hand you a pair of cynicism-tinted glasses and then supply you the super-glue to adhere them to your face.

The first step to detoxing yourself from these places is to STOP GOING THERE. No, don't even go there because of "chuckles" or to "see what people are talking about." or see what people you know are doing. That's the same damn thing as being there and being a part of it.

You have to accept a very hard thing about yourself, that takes some people years to finally figure out: You are susceptible to influence.

That's not a slight against you, we all are easily influenced, despite the sovereignty we think we have in our own minds. If you're sad, if you're depressed or anxious, your brain is especially adept at seizing onto any reasonable sounding rationalization for your emotional distress. This is how we learned to survive early on as a species, by trying to identify the source of our discomfort. But in a very complicated world, these reactions and systems have become flawed and often fool us into making bad choices with our lives.

Your brain is a vastly deep organism, with layers of personalities stacked on top of each other, from the obvious surface thoughts that you cycle through daily, to the hidden, quiet parts that silently process the things you've read, form connections with other parts of your emotions and logic, and store away every tidbit that those internal systems can use later to defend a bad thought or painful feeling. Your brain can trick you. I have been tricked by my brain into almost destroying my own life, but many people never catch on to this fact, that your own mind can turn against you.

So the second step to getting healthy again is to put your brain on a diet. We see loads of support for physical dieting all around us, we learn what's good to put into our stomachs, but rarely do we think we need to moderate what we're allowing into our heads. For some people, they can delve into the most toxic of worlds for laughs and skim back out and brush that shit off themselves and get on with life. But for some of us, who may have issues with our self-worth, who have suffered pain or have socialization issues, we have to very fucking careful about what we absorb. Diabetics have to watch what they eat. People with emotional or psychological issues need to watch what they think.

Whenever you see something that seems to "fit" with your negative world-view, things that make you angry or sad because it seems to confirm what others have said about how men and women behave, you have to learn to nip that thought before it explodes into an emotional reaction. This can be hard, because that twisty, clenching feeling of emotional release and validation is actually quite addicting. When you don't have another source of emotional stimulation in your life, you can become hooked on the sensation of gut-wrenching loneliness and pain.

So the third step is to get out, start finding new sources of mental and emotional stimulation. Do something completely "unlike" you, do something charitable, something that puts you in touch with people who have worse problems and need more support. Go do something physically strenuous until you don't have the energy to cycle those irritating thoughts in your mind. Go build something with your hands that you can feel pride in, things that will start helping you rebuild self-worth.

benes_the_menace · 2016-11-26T22:15:33+00:00

Hey! I'm a 19-year-old girl. I think it's interesting that you mention seeing uglier girls with average/attractive guys, because I totally notice the opposite all the time. Seems like plenty of well-kempt, pretty girls with men who clearly haven't bothered shaving or showering in the past week.

I'm not sure dating sites are reliable either, since they tend to be overwhelmed by men as far as I can tell. If there are fewer women, of course they'll get more messages even if they aren't as attractive.

Also: do not worry about being short. Lots of redpill guys will tell you being short dooms you, but actually 5'6" isn't that short. I'm average height for a girl (5'3") and everyone looks tall from down here! Also a lot of us don't even care about height. I've had a guy tell me I didn't know what I liked and that I do care about height, which is actually really rude.

27 isn't that old. You sound like a good guy. Keep your chin up and don't stop trying. Nothing will turn off girls like getting a redpill vibe from you if you start to turn bitter.

Title	Incel detox?
Author	MyRepIsRuined02
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	November 5, 2016 5:52 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/5bb5kc/incel_detox/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/incel-detox.300361 https://theredarchive.com/post/300361

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