Hi. I need guidance here. I am frustrated/angry/bitter with my lack of success with women but do not want to turn to TRP, unfortunately I have little to no role models to turn to and was hoping you guys could point me into a much better direction. This is a throwaway account, and I have been in counseling for over a year now. I am looking for additional resources if you all might have some.

First let me say: I find the TRP to be bullshit... emotionally abusive, manipulative, feeding off of and causing abandonment issues (Dread game :p), etc. It is tempting to look into but I will never tear apart someone else's mental health just to get a lay.

But there is a temptation there. For someone who has been alone for so long, viewing the world of sexual desire from the outside of a glass box, never able to have the enjoyment myself. I am bitter, I do harbor anger and resentment over it. TRP and PUA seem to get real results, as unhealthy as they are.

A little about me.

I've got relationship trouble with women stemming from an unhealthy relationship with my parents, especially my mom.

I am a people pleaser, I ignore my needs/wants/desires, I am timid and inexperienced with women, I am a "nice guy" (as much as i hate the term), I am perpetually single, I am way too timid and shy, and I constantly feel inadequate in relationships.

I see the world through three unhealthy lenses, which I am actively trying to change but struggling. 1.) I am inadequate/flawed (Self blame probably from early childhood as I couldn't conceive of blaming my mother). 2.) A beautiful woman is the key to happiness. (fallacy, defining happiness as something outside myself, sabotaging and unfair to any relationship. Projection of what I was looking for from my mom but never got.) 3.) I need to be constantly better to get the girl. (this never ends, I accomplish one thing and it's on to the next. It's also self rejection, I am never good enough. It's also a projection of my relationship with my mother onto women. I wasn't good enough for my mother and now I am trying to prove myself to women but always coming up short (in my mind).)

Any resources, books, sites, or advice is gladly welcomed.