sometimes i struggle with my identity because i think reading such negativity, saying my personality was the kind that was not successful, was not to be sought after, was a potent catalyst for the decay of my original personality. so i rejected myself through the judgments of others and thus became an individual who may indeed lead their lives by mantras about self improvement and how focussing inwardly improves the outwardly. but i think focus should never be shifted from both. instead i believe that whilst leading a self improvement life privately whilst living a great outside life too is far superior and more naturally fulfilling. friendships are often lost with this mindset. they are hard to hold. i think that positive, affirmative changes in actions and beliefs perhaps can you from becoming entrench in the misery of this lifestyle, although i do speak from a place of only under a decade of practicing this system. maybe the unwarranted thrusting of how to be has given benefit to others, but i found the benefit i would achieve to be superficially better whilst i had relegated my concerned and unhappy (and possibly unaware) subconscious processes of struggling with such a big change of personality to the unconscious. being one’s true self gets starved of attention and the probable preexisting personal issues (self esteem in my case) coupled with the initial occurrence of becoming quite ostensibly repugnant in interactions with women and others as you indulge in it, only allows for more time to indulge in it. it has elements of truth, parti sometimes i €€€€€€struggle with my identity because i think reading such negativity, saying my personality was the kind that was not successful, was not to be sought after. so i rejected myself through the judgments of others and thus became an individual who may lead their lives by mantras about self improvement and how focussing inwardly improves the outward. but i think focus should never be shifted from both. leading a privately and silent self improvement life whilst living a great outside life too. i think only positive, affirmative action changes and belief changes can save you from misery with this. unwarranted thrusting of how to be. but being oneself gets starved of attention and the loneliness of the transition by usually becoming quite hateable, at least until you come out of the delusion of it, only allows for more time to indulge in it. it has elements of truth in it, particularly with how it attracts women. yet i wish i’d never found, it because i never would have been so disruptive to my original self. it changes you profoundly. but maybe there is beauty in it to be seen that i can’t, or the raw beauty of destructing someone’s life, while making them believe they are doing the opposite all the time.