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[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I didnt read the post but I'm guessing I'd you have to write paragraphs like this then he is low value and you are A) lying to yourself
B) not willing to be alone rather than with a LVM
C) dont trust your instincts due to previous gaslighting/uprbringing/the patriarchy
D) you're being gaslighted currently
E) all of the above.
I'm going to post this then read your post, just to test how far I've levelled up lol
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
After reading I can say
A) "I dont really know what to do"
B) "I just don't know if it's worth throwing away this entire relationship for this"
Potentially C)
Definitely D) "he deflects" "all guys watch porn", "what I watch is tame"
Sooooooooooo all this reading of the FDS handbook recommended books + the actually sub-red is paying off. Plus blocking all LV/NVM, avoiding pickmeisha's and pickmeisha media :)
[–]penelopekittyFDS STRATEGY COACH8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How him watching porn makes you feel is only one aspect of his porn watching. He is deriving sexual satisfaction from exploited women, many of whom are drug addicted and trafficked. It doesn't matter which "type" of porn he is watching or whether or not you deem it to be tame. Anyway, he's probably lying to you about the amount and type of his porn use. You have no idea what he is watching other than what he admits to you. He is displaying a lack of empathy and the inability to self reflect.
His reaction to your very reasonable request is telling. You feel "uncomfortable and disrespected." He doesn't care. His porn habit is more important to him than your wellbeing.
My ex-husband was psychologically abusive to me, but he thought he wasn't that bad because he didn't hit me. In his words "he wasn't as bad as other men." He thought I should have been grateful he didn't hit me. Sounds a lot like what your boyfriend is saying to you.
He is not a HVM. You have already had the discussion and expressed your feelings. HE DOESN'T CARE.
I'm getting the vibe that you are young. Don't waste anymore of your time on this loser. You can do better.
[–]throwawayitstFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I actually dont know the answer. Maybe send him some findings about how harmful porn can be and send him the no fap Sub reddit but you cannot tell him what to do or ask him to stop - he has to make the decision. You can state your wants and preferences and if he doesn’t repect them you can reinforce it with being distant. Not really sure.
I personally stopped and he decided to join me and he stopped for many months and would tell me all the benefits. But its a drug and he went back when we were on a break. I sent him all the findings and reserach when we got back together and asked him to stop and he did but i think he resented me for it but oh well
As long as hes a giving partner and keeps p*** to a absolute min like 5 times a month for example. Id be okay with that.
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[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]penelopekittyFDS STRATEGY COACH8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayitstFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link