First time poster, long time lurker. I want to thank all you guys for your encouraging posts! I truly believe I found this subreddit at the right time.

In the past I've settled and by settling i lost 6 years of my 20s (I'm now 27) . I was manipulated, lied and cheated on for years....

Recently, I started dating what I thought was a HVM. Handsome, educated, well-mannered, successful and paid for every date.... turns out he was no different.

Lurking through this subreddit has taught me a thing or two. I had no idea "pick-meshias" were a thing and it was a total awakening. "Nice for what" is really my new motto. Ive aways been careful to be respectful of men and have always tip toed around their egos....... but really? FOR WHAT?!

Now what I've learned and I hope this can help someone else from the supposed "HVM" I was dating is: if someone tells you who they are, even if its jokingly about them being emotionless or proud too be cold and heartless believe them. They're not lying.

Dont let your guard down no matter how "polite" they are. I will constantly remind myself to not be a pick-meshia. I'm a great women and do not need to prove myself to any man. I will no longer sacrifice my feelings to avoid hurting theirs.

"Forgive me hands, for I have held everything but myself"

And thank all you awesome ladies for your wisdom and encouragement. Thank you for reading.