I know I'm preaching to the choir, but still wanted to share a random epiphany concerning the prioritization of favorable traits in a partner. (English is my second language, so please feel free if something is phrased in a weird way!)

Hollywood and Disney make us believe connection is all about a "spark", a almost mythical compatibility - which in turn gives many people the illusion, superficial compatibility is the foundation of a relationship, whereas logistical compatibility or how they treat us are just icing on the cake.

This leads to the worst case scenario of pickmes saying something along the lines of: "Well, he might be broke and he cheated on me thrice, but we have a special connection, we share the same quirky interests so we're soul mates, right?"

I think the healthier way to prioritize might be something like this:

  1. Being a decent human being and treating a (prospective) partner with the outmost respect and decency.

  2. Seeing eye to eye when it comes to life goals (cohabitating, marriage, kids etc.

  3. Sharing the same values and some interests.

  4. THEN and only then that certain "je ne sais quoi" comes into consideration.

Any thoughts?