Throwaway account, on mobile, sorry if the formatting isn’t up to par.

A bit of background about me...nearly 40, and about 4.5 years out of a 12 year relationship with an extremely low value man. He initiated the divorce after months of sneaking around behind my back (no cheating), trying to build a case to take everything from me, kids, house, cars, dogs, everything. Long story short, he didn’t succeed and I came away with everything while he’s skipped town and hasn’t seen or talked to our kids in over two years.

Anyways...I’m relatively new to the whole FDS community, and while I feel on paper, I’m high value, I still struggle with self confidence. Most of the time, I project as strong and confident but internally it’s not always the case.

I’m very picky with the kind of man I’m seeking. I expect someone in my age range to be at a certain point in their lives...by that I mean I’d like them to be in a career and not just a “job”, finances are important, although he doesn’t have to be rich, and it would be nice for him to own his own home. These things are all valid about me. I own my house, I have a career that I love, I’m financially independent and have no debt aside from my mortgage. I don’t think it’s unfair for me to expect the same from a partner, is it?

With that said, I’m questioning if things ever get easier in regards to relationships and rejections. I started talking to a guy online (I know OLD isn’t the best medium for meeting men, but it’s all I use for now)...he seemed to say all the right things, wasn’t all about sex out of the gate, and after a couple of decent phone calls, he tried to turn things sexual (sexting before we had even met face to face)...I shut that down, which he SEEMED to be okay with. He called me the next day, and this time it was like he was going down the phone sex path...I shut it down again and before I know it, he’s done a 180 and doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.

I get it, he said all the right things in hopes of me jumping into bed with him upon meeting. I get that I dodged a bullet and that he’s LV...but why am I internalizing this? Why do I feel like I’m in the wrong? And why am I questioning that if a LVM doesn’t even want me, what does that say about me? Am I fooling myself by thinking I have value, I’m a catch, all of that if these kinds of men don’t want me?

TLDR; Why does rejection from a LVM make me feel like a loser?