hi, guys, I am new and been lurking on this sites or months. I agree with all of this. I moved to the us at 17 for college. I graduated high school at 16 , I took a year off and I now recently obtained my green card thanks to my mother who married an American who adopted me. She did it for me, I currently live with him . I was just giving a background. However, I was raised in Africa with a successful single mom who owns a road construction company. I Also have a 7 years older brother. I was the baby and was spoiled. I studied private schools, spent my holidays and summers touring Europe. I am used to getting my way. However, my other come from a family of 10 children and they all spent my childhood telling me how lazy and spoiled I was. My mother let me focus on my school , I was in a very competitive one. We are ranked first national to this day. According to them , I was not a woman, meaning I do not cook and clean, I am too opinionated. I had maids. And sometimes my aunts will tell me during the holidays on breakfast time, you have to wait, I am not rich like your mother. I always felt rejected. Recently, I went to Christmas in an african household , where I was invited and the mother told me why are you sitting in the living room like a big lady and not in the kitchen, you are a woman. Mind you, I was invited, and the dad brought me to the living room. Then, she talked about marriage and how she got married at 19 and I should and I told her no thanks. She said I was lazy. and if I knew how to cook and I told her as long as it goes in the oven, yes. That part was ok. I am used to that. What shocked me was that when they were cleaning up men where sitting in the living room like kings. None of them bothered to bring his plate to the kitchen. I felt so disconnected. What should I do if I feel disconnected from my culture as a whole.