Walking home from work today, I saw a man coming towards me about a block away. My heart instantly sunk to my stomach because he was a spot on doppelgänger of my unstable ex - facial features, hair, tattoos, outfit, even his walk. Within a millisecond I knew it couldn’t be him as I’ve moved cities and I assume he doesn’t know where I live. I’ve always realized this, but still, today was a reminder for me of just how damaging people can be to your mental health. He was the fly off the handle over nothing type; the type that would break things out of anger over something a normal person would see as a minor inconvenience; the type that couldn’t handle me spending time with my friends because he “missed me”; the type that my dog would hide and cower from in the corner whenever he was having one of his rage moments; the type that never paid for a single thing and lived in my home for free; the type that I had to walk on eggshells around; the type that you never knew which version of them you’d get any given day; the type that made me dread waking up in the morning.

I dumped him over a year ago, and I still got scared thinking he was walking my way. But after that brief moment of panic, I stopped and was grateful for knowing I deserved better and dumping him. And then I became even more grateful that I have found better and have never seen one of those qualities in my new boyfriend.

Just a reminder that we deserve the best. We deserve someone who treats us the best, makes us feel our best, and never scares us.