How I cook for LVM

warinmymind94 · 2020-06-07T07:25:46+00:00

Hahaha. My dad is a huge LVM and he wasnt around often. When he was, he was verbally abusive. When he would come around to me and my moms house he would make a huge pig of himself and eat up so kich food, drink milk by the gallon, eat all our snacks, even steal our laundry detergent, etc. When I was older and started cooking more I knew he would be coming over soon so I decided to have my way on him. My mom asked me to make tacos and everything and she was a huge pickme, still trying to always win him back. She was like I know he will want some food when hes here visiting you and your sisters and he never gets you food so I got this cook up the tacos for me! Haha. So I fed myself and my sisters. All the leftover taco meat I made extra spicy and added diced hot peppers as well. I put the leftover meat back in the fridge. Finally dad arrived and of course helped himself to the ENTIRE bowl of leftover taco meat, dismissing us kids and yelling be quiet and that we need to find the remote so he can watch his tv shows (scrote supreme LVM father). I play with my sisters and watch the scrote devour that disgustingly massive portion of taco meat. Pretty soon he starts gagging and complaining that how dare we have such spicy food in the house and that we need to have better food availble for him! As the spice kicks in more he starts tearing up from the sheer pain (he had no tolerance for spice) he went upstairs to brush his teeth which didnt work. He ended up leaving to go get milk or something and didnt come back to visit again for like another month. He did try to call my mom and yell at her for "trying to poison him" with the spice and she of course was confused and worried about his ass. She questioned me "you only put in the packet like I told you to?" I lied and said yes I dont know why he didnt like it.. She was still trying to defend him and went to my my sisters (who ate it before I dumped extra spicy stuff in) and they were like it was good it wasng even spicy. There was none leftover since my pig father ate the rest and then threw away what he couldn't stomach so she had no idea. She ended up believing he just didnt like it and was being dramatic. Haha. I never told anyone. Dad would get fast food himself for a bit but then reverted to eating our prepackaged foods like chips and such or started making himself a sandwhich since the spicy taco incident. I was a petty teenager. My dad and I have been estranged for years now and I intend on keeping it that way. Family can be toxic and you have every right to keep them out of your life.

LeprikonPaprikon · 2020-06-07T07:09:05+00:00

This whole episode is amazing and so funny. Show it to your daughters. ( I don't remember the name though.)

Title	How I cook for LVM
Author	_ROBERTO_IS_CRAZY
Upvotes	73
Comments	6
Date	June 6, 2020 11:38 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gy1joq/how_i_cook_for_lvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-i-cook-for-lvm.674349 https://theredarchive.com/post/674349

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