I didn't trust my instincts enough to say no to the NVM/LVM even though I know that they are lying on their teeth. All I see were trap: marriage, relationships, family. I thought these are the things that I should focus on and that career wasn't that important. My lack of genuine support growing up is a huge factor but I do not excuse my choices and behaviors that made me fall down the rabbit hole. I have allowed myself to be lied to, ~~cheated on (no proof but as NVM/LVM it's expected)~~, boundaries pressed and told disrespectful things. I thought not inherently getting affected was a strong move, but I didn't realize that I was just being a doormat. For this, I want to say sorry to all the queens here having the same struggles as I have living in a patriarchal world that I was also one of those enablers to let these things happen. I have had enough of this.