I know that FDS gets a lot of questions about screening dates, questions about paying for dates and types of dates that are appropriate.

It's easier to screen early in dating, it gets harder as your attachment/feelings grow (which distorts your views) and as the relationship becomes more established.

When I was dating my now husband, I hadn't discovered FDS yet, but I did FDS strategy naturally. He was consistently high effort, respectful, communicative etc but I also knew on a rational level, that most relationships fail, that most men are scrotes. I didn't want to brainwash myself to be delusional, to think that instead of being part of the 90%, that I am part of the 10%. I enjoyed myself and remembered to have fun while screening, but I was definitely screening even as far as 1 year into the relationship.

This might sound odd, but one of the things I always wondered about him was... if someone broke in the house, would he have an instinct to be protective and masculine? Or would he be a modern man who would push me in front of the burglar while he hides somewhere.

I started to like him a lot more, when one day, we went to the mall and 2 guys were fist fighting in front of Macys. They were inside the store and went out to throw punches at each other, knocked over a display... it was all very fast. They were a couple of feet in front of us. When he saw it, he held my hand firmly and went in front of me. It's not the same as someone breaking into your house, but at least his instinct wasn't to be a coward.

Other examples... I tried to observe how he treated others, if he was kind or not. I always believed that it's easy enough to act like a dignified human in situations/settings where it is easy or even effortless to do so. So the classic advice of "See how they treat service workers" is really basic to me, because most people are cordial in that regard.

So one day, we were walking on the street, and I was talking. I lost him and turned around, he was about 15 feet away, giving money to a homeless guy. I knew he wasn't doing it to show off, to be all "Look how generous and kind I am", because he didn't even see that I saw him doing it.

I also met his sisters, and I saw him letting things go with them. For little things, nothing serious, but I saw that he was patient, understood that family is family, that you can disagree on little things, you don't have to make a big deal out of it, and oftentimes, people have to take turns letting things go, because no 2 people agree on 100% of everything and always get along. I saw his conflict resolution skills in practice with his family.

Other things-- how he viewed other men. One day he saw me on Reddit (before my FDS days) and he was like "Reddit is full of mentally ill men". Another time, we discussed incels, and he trashed incels, saying that they are "losers with their pants up to their armpits, trying to give other people dating advice". We also once met this nomad wanderlust guy while on vacation, we were making small talk. The guy was pretty drunk and wouldn't stop talking about his relationship problems, how he me this woman but considers her a "friend" and wants to "help" her by sleeping with her. Then he wouldn't stop talking about his ex girlfriend and how she dumped him, and how he's so sad about it and can't get over it. My husband (then boyfriend) couldn't stop talking shit about this guy in the car. I just tuned the guy out, but he was ranting about how annoying, whiny and manipulative that guy was. I loved hearing him rant about a scrote... the chance of a HVM man meeting a scrote in the presence of his GF, that guy being drunk enough to reveal how shitty and whiny he is... is all chance. Women are exposed to guys like that (and worse) all the time, but men are not, unless they are friends with them. And if they are not friends with scrotes, they are likely a HVM and get really, really annoyed by scrotes.

Little things like that. They really show you a lot about a person's character, and it takes time observing a person in different situations and settings, to see their character. People really do show you who they are, you just have to believe them.