Following Christmas has anyone else noticed the massive influx of posts on r/relationships and r/AmItheAsshole of nice women who got their male partners thoughtful gifts only to get nothing or extremely shitty gifts in return? It actually makes me upset how many women feel GUILTY for feeling rightfully upset when their partner spares them 0 thought, effort and money.

I think this is actually very telling for a relationship, not every gift has to be over the top crazy or expensive and everyone has different expectations for gifts they want to receive, but if your man does not put the effort in to know what your expectations are and to find or make something you'd like, he's a waste of time.

​

Also, if he uses gifts as a bargaining chip, he's no good. Gifts should be given for two purposes:
1. to make the other person happy
2. display affection
! not as manipulation tools.

If your partner gets you a shitty gift, don't feel like you have to pretend to like it. You can still respectfully say thank you, but express that it's not what you would have preferred to receive. Only if the gift at least shows some effort on his side. If he got you something extremely low effort and can not even count as a display of affection, you are more than justified in being visibly upset.

Also, don't let yourself be manipulated into feeling like you have to kiss the ground he walks on every time he gets you a shitty thing to make himself feel better that he's "providing" for you. Gifts should elicit proportionate responses.

Providing the wrong things is as good as not providing anything, or even worse.

Generosity in men is extremely important and absolutely mandatory for a man to be HV. If he's not giving, in and out of bed, just #dumphim.