(I'm non-native, there might be mistakes)

For me the most devastating feeling was of weakness.

Feeling of being nothing, no-one, powerless. And that other people will sense it and there would be horrible consequences to this knowledge (the last one is rather fantastic).

That's I believe the reason why people sometimes commit horrible actions because it's better to perceive yourself as 'bad someone' then as 'weak no-one'. I want to admit that I have horrible revenge fantasies and even murder fantasies at different times in my life. That idea always makes people judge you horribly and think that you're some kind of monster. But fantasy is a fantasy, I was never trying to act on them. That would be an insane move.

What I'm noticing is that every men's movement is trying to invent their own solution for this problem:

Incel's idea is that getting a girlfriend and sex somehow dissolve this feeling. I don't believe that it's true because my feeling only grew after being in relationships with manipulative woman with all their mind-game tactics.

TheRedPill advice is 'Lift, Bro!' and also 'self-improve!', 'be a Real Tough Alpha Male'. This way when you acquire more strange your perception change. But I keep noticing their incredibly obsessed with their 'frame' and think that once the woman perceive a breach in the frame the relationships are damaged.

Women are actually like to poke their men when they sense weakness and I even remember some fantastic religious theory that 'This is woman's higher purpose to help their man to remove all the weaknesses' - I believe from Elliot Hulse / Owen Wilson kind of group. I don't buy it. I think there is much simpler explanation - they are evil cunts who enjoy bullying other. That's actually normal behaviour.

But so what? I think the right answer is not to become obsessive about your own frame and to memorise all the 'shit-test handling techniques' but to say 'So be it'.

My solution which I'm trying to apply for this problem is not new or extravagant:

  1. Resolve any health issues.
  2. Create healthy relationships with other people.
  3. Remove yourself out of any unhealthy relationships.
  4. Start to improve my fitness regime to feel more energetic and more in shape.
  5. Try to acquire more professional skills in order to feel more useful and sophisticated.

So it's kind of inner game attitude. But at the same time I believe it's healthy to admit the weakness inside.