Hi guys, it's me again.

I had been fighting my urges as of late. Going this way hasn't been without its challenges. I still crave that companionship I know does not exist.

It's basically like trying to detox off coke, except that urge is basically there all the time! Comes with being young.

I think, for me, the worst part about choosing this path...one that refuses marriage, cohabitation, or long term relationships, is the painful disillusionment of a sense of comfort and safety in your partner. Does it exist? I'm sure it does but they were incentives by mutual benefit. A man found purpose in caring and providing for a family, especially for the wife, and once upon a time, he was made to believe this was a worthy and honorable purpose.

That has gone out of the window in our feminist society that is surrounded by social media. It isn't just the rampant change in behavior from women, it's just society in general. Look at what the hell is happening.

The most powerful man(that is acknowledged) in the world was a reality star who turned the presidency into something out of SNL. What is the worst part? He was the better choice. (Opinions may vary, but would we be in a better position if Hilary was in office?)

Mass shootings are becoming commonplace, and they seem to all involve males who were basically shit on in life, and the media focuses on the guns and gun toters, instead of the very real reality that they were men who got the short end of the stick, let it get to their head, and lashed out at a society that gave them no pity, no love, and no attention. The media doesn't want to address the root of this issue: a generation of men who were taught through both action and observation that they weren't good enough unless they met the pinnacle of expectations...while women were praised for just existing and constantly encouraged no matter what emotional or physical state they were in. This, from my observation, is the true issue...males lacking a sense of purpose aside from being acknowledged romantically by women.

Note that I said romantically, because if you try to even suggest to some people that one of the main issues that men shouldn't be having is desiring a romantic companion and failing to get one, first thing you'll be labeled as is an incel, and told you should improve yourself and "be yourself.". In reality, it's so ingrained in us both culturally and psychologically it's hard not to want it. It is essentially like having a coke addiction, being utterly SURROUNDED by said DOC, not having easy access to it, and when you do hit it, it slowly kills you, while others encourage you to keep doing it! Suggesting that a man truly desires romantic companionship and being utterly frustrated he can't get any is considered toxic behavior, when it's a normal human emotion to want companionship on a deeper level than just a friendship. To suggest otherwise is ignorant. Why are men shunned for these feelings, but women aren't? We're surprised at the violent backlashes as a result?

The economy isn't very strong at the moment. I'm not an economist(though those that are here I love your insights) but isn't it pretty simple that if you want great workers, they need to feel appreciated for their skills and compensated as such? Harsh truth: Human interaction in some way, shape, or form is economic in nature. There is a cost/benefit analysis done on even a subconscious level. With that in mind, consider this:

What incentives do men usually have to spend hours upon hours busting their tail at the risk of their health and their sanity? Usually, it's to impress women. It's not a pretty truth, but it's undeniable once you really stop to look at it. What happens when you take the hard working man and have his life thrown away on a false accusation? What happens when he is ignored and ridiculed by the opposite sex, and told his natural sex drive is evil while men who look better or have more money get a pass for more depraved behavior? What happens when a man becomes disillusioned because he is reminded that all he will ever be Is a wallet or an orbiter due to circumstances outside of his control? Even worse, what happens when he finally realized that no woman or even society, will truly love him for his character, integrity, or his merit? He loses interest in wanting to contribute more than he benefits from. This, in turn, has a profound effect on society, both socially and economy.

I'd also like to point out the backlash that the "Great Hollywood Witchhunt of 2017."(just made that up) has created. More and more businesses have been reluctant to hire women. It has somehow dented feminist progress because it ignored cold, hard realities about human nature. They did it to themselves, keeping women who happened to be skilled and qualified from being taken seriously, and men from interacting with them.

There's so much I could list, and it's hard not to lose hope in such a setting. However, as I sat in a tub contemplating things, I started jamming to some old songs, and a passion I once had reignited.

You see, I've always wanted to make music. I am a massive music junkie and have various playlists for various occasions. I've never been super proficient with various instruments, but I did used to DJ. I want to expand on that and become a full fledged music producer. But due to last year's bullshit, I lost interest.

I've decided to swear off starting a family and long term relationships, which leaves my 27 year old ass to care for me, myself, and I. Am I broke? Hell yes. And that used to bother the shit outta me, despite me always taking care of my needs. Nowadays, my goal is to make sure I'm all right, and if I ever end up with a debilitating disease, I'm not spending thousands of dollars to prolong suffering. I've come up with a suicide plan. I see no reason to continue living as a burden to others if there is literally no other option.

So I'm chasing whatever crazy dreams I have. I want to do something that, when I'm in my 70s and look back on my life, I can say with a smile that it was worth it.

I wasted 9 years of my life learning painful lessons. I will be fine, because there isn't a unicorn.

I am alone, but I get to choose how my experience on this planet goes. Anyone who wants to show me otherwise will be ran over. Mr. Nice Guy left the building a while ago, thanks to the bitch that killed it.

Men, chase your dreams. Pursue your hobbies, work however you please. Not a.single damn one of us is getting out of this life alive, and when we're dead, that's it. Poof.

Love won't be there when you're dead. Enjoy it when you can, but let it go when it leaves, and give your misery a beneficial purpose.

Go out and enjoy what you can of life, men. Don't take shit from anyone, regardless of your background. Blaze your own trail for your sake.

Sincerely, Natsume25