At the core of any developed society are a set of (shifting) principles which are perpetuated by family systems under the careful cultivation of the state. Unfortunately, we now live in an era where the values espoused by the state are severely disadvantageous to men - and so men (those with any sense at least) have to define their own principles. The areas which such core principles touch on are varied, and can range from personal, to relational, to familial and even to societal. These are principles viewed from the perspective of the individual man; if you have not thought about this yet, then perhaps this is a good opportunity to do so.

My question is: what are some of the principles you hold dear, and what do these principles entail (bearing in mind we might use the same words but mean different things)? Bear in mind the notion of reciprocity. Something is not a principle if you do not abide by it yourself but simply expect others to conform to it.

To start off with a description of some of the principles I live by:

Self-Belief - This is perhaps the most difficult principle to uphold because of the immense peer pressure humans feel to fit into the broader social group. This is especially so for men, who are worth only the marketable labour which they provide. Insofar as self-belief is tied to what others think of you you are beholden to them. A prime example is the premium men put on what women think of them. I have at certain points in my life found myself craving female validation - but this reflects a betrayal of Self-Belief. Other people's assessment can be key sources of motivation for achieving a goal - but they should not factor into the objective value of a person's worth. Like it or not, there are people who are objectively worthless.

Hard Work - This requires some specificity. I am not talking about the blind labour a mule or pack-horse does (eg. I am not talking like working like an upright citizen and struggling family man). I am talking about the drive for self-improvement. What matters to me is the numbers: am I doing more? Am I earning more? Am I being more productive? At its essence, this is greed, and greed is good. This applies to others as well. I expect much from any woman I'm in a relationship with. She must be better, she must improve - and improve objectively (ie, in something measurable). As you might expect, this means I did not expect much out of any relationship (given the general quality of woman nowadays). Fortunately, there is a prospective partner whom I am currently seeing who perhaps fits this mould.

Fidelity - both amongst friends and love interests. I expect and give such loyalty - this is because reciprocation is the foundation of fidelity. You cannot expect to have a stable relationship of loyalty if there is no such reciprocation. This is because we live in a society that emphasises as one of its fundamental tenets the notion of equality, and this idea encourages comparison. Hence, people will always ask: "If he/she can do it, why can't I?" As long as equality remains a fundamental tenet of society (even if only lip service is paid to it), reciprocation will always be fundamental.

Discretion - this does not mean 'humility', but rather being careful with one's words. It means not running one's mouth off in public, and keeping your friends secrets as though they were your own. Of course, what is or is not a secret is often debatable, and it requires some level of judiciousness in deciding whether to reveal some happening/circumstance or not. Discretion is important because it keeps whatever small amount of power you have (and every person has some small amount of social power) from leaking. This is crucial for anyone who wishes to build a stable and ever-improving life (financially and socially).

Wisdom - some might understand this more as an 'attribute', but as a principle, I mean it as 'living according to the tenets of the wise'. I have decided on this principle instead of 'humility', which I feel to be a serf-like quality promulgated by religious people in order to ensure obedience to outdated institutions. In the first place, wisdom requires some judiciousness and sagacity in deciding who qualifies as 'wise', and therefore whose 'advice' to follow. Despite what many say, there are indeed categorically wrong decisions when so deciding; a good rule of thumb would be to follow outcomes. This is not perfect because luck may skew outcomes - nevertheless, the more times someone gets good outcomes, the more likely he is to have some kind of experience worth learning from. The second issue has to do with what constitutes 'advice' - this is not what he says, but what he does. People say many things, but such things are worthless if not backed up by action. If you were to commit to some action, you better be as sure as you can that you are doing the best possible thing you can in order to maximise the chances of success. And that is the best iteration of the modern man in a nutshell - a person who relentlessly maximises his good.