I am a FT single dad since I was in my mid 20's. My child's mother left us to go "live it up," when our child was 2.

She chose to have our kid and it was her decision alone. When our child turned 2, she began to resent being a mother and turned very sadistic.

Leading up to that, she was both physically and mentally abusive to our child. My biggest regret in all this is that I should had called the police on her instead of trying to keep the family intact by getting help from a therapist.

Eventually I found out she cheated and when I confronted her, she told me to take our kid and leave or she would fake a abuse call to the police and I would never see our kid again. I have never physically abused or ever threatened to, so it all terrified me, so I took our kid and left.

She told me prior to us going to child custody court that she doesn't want our kid BUT also wants nothing to do with our child financially. If I seeked anything financially, she would strip our kid from me and have our kid with her family our of state.

Well, I tried to get financial support anyways. She dropped her work, kicked our child off her health ins and claimed "I'm a poor college student so I can't afford to pay," and even though I was a college student + full time parent....she was excused by the the judge to pay. She would mock me for this telling me how she knows exactly what to say so it's pointless for me to even try anything against her.

From what I learned, she lived up her 20's.

Now it's been 10 years and against all odds, I am super successful in my career and my kid (now a pre teen) is super happy and bright.

Now randomly, deadbeat mom is now getting hit with some sort of "epiphany," where she does want to be a mother after all but she is demanding a few things...

  1. She wants to be involved more BUT wants nothing to do with our kid financially. Her logic is that I make decent money where her financial input is pointless.

-Imo, I had to work hard to compensate for her not helping and now she is essentially punishing me for successfully working hard.

  1. I have to excuse her past of being abusive to our child and me as her being "young and dumb."

-She was very abusive to our kid when our child was an infant/toddler. No apologies, no accountability nor responsibility for her actions.

  1. I have to treat her as if she never abandoned our child as her claim is now that she is "a different person now" and she was a different person in the past.

  2. It's my responsibility to have our kid to treat her the same way how our kid treats me.

So how am I approaching this? I told her fuck no.

She is now telling everyone that I am holding her from her child playing this victim mother.

She was about to go psycho bitch on me until I told her that I kept some records of her being abusive to our kid and I wouldn't comply unless she admitted to a judge of her abusive past and seeked therapy for it.

I don't give a shit if it was 1, 10 or 1,000 years ago. If you decided to bring a kid into this world only to abusive because "it" prevented you from partying....you got serious issues that is never excusable.

What's the twist of all this? She runs a child poverty/abuse organization....