Ending my long term relationship

gantz_au · 2020-01-18T20:20:23+00:00

It's up to you what you want to do with your life.

You're the one who is responsible for you and you're the one who has to make the judgement call about your relationship because you know more about it than any of us do.

You know what the people in this subreddit will say, we're not for marriage, cohabitation and/or long term relationships with women.

The reason I say this is because, whatever decision you make, you're the one who has to live with it in the long run. All we can do is reiterate the dangers of being in a relationship and how it's a stupid gamble to make.

Personally, I would never want to gamble my life on a woman.

KneeDeepThought · 2020-01-18T20:42:24+00:00

MGTOW is not about celibacy or never dating, it's about doing what is best for you. Don't marry or cohabitate while the legal landscape is so stacked against you as a man. Never place yourself in a situation where she can destroy your life with a false allegation.

If you're happy, fine- just don't harm your financial future by paying her way to keep her around. She should pull her weight in all aspects of any relationship and not give you any crap about having your own time, interests, hobbies etc.

If she's really ok with all that then in the short term at least you may be ok. Over time however women always tend to isolate their men to dominate their resources. Don't allow this, and always be ready to record her if she starts flipping out for not getting her way.

It's not that all women are out to destroy men's lives, it's that they can do it anytime they want with no penalty and a big possibility of a financial and social windfall. That's a huge amount of power, and power corrupts.

FanofLemmy · 2020-01-18T20:23:16+00:00

I think you should sleep on your decision. If nothing is wrong, why break up. If you are unhappy, why stay with her.

Does she want marriage? Is she pressuring you for it? Do you want that?

I would take some time off work, go and do something for yourself.

If you talk to her about this she will leave you. Communication is not key in a relationship. The man leading is how it works. Take control of your life and let women be a compliment, not the sole focus, to your life.

Good luck brother. (I know this is more red pilled than mgtow but you need to figure out what you want. I still date personally, and don’t mind banging women. I won’t marry or cohabitate though.)

backonmyBS · 2020-01-18T20:35:36+00:00

take a “vacation” and see if she changes if you lose your job

Ulzioz · 2020-01-18T20:28:56+00:00

Whatever you do don't put a ring on her finger. If you are foolish enough to do so at least put everything in your parents name or a trusted sibiling immediately after without telling her so you can't lose anything incase of a divorce as they wouldn't belong to you. Prenups are just a fancy looking toilet paper for the judge to wipe his ass with and throw away.

Stick around for a few more years and you'll see the mask slip off. Some mask stay on for 19 years and slip off a year later.

If you plan to stay and you accidentally get her pregnant always do a DNA test. If she has a tongue she's capable of lying.

If planning on breaking up with her. Record the interaction. She may assualt you or say you did something.

Finally sit down and ask yourself "what can she offer me that I simply cannot get."

vegetasgooch123 · 2020-01-18T20:22:35+00:00

[deleted]

ShowMeWarFace · 2020-01-18T22:28:59+00:00

Sometimes it helps to think about these situations in a cost-benefit analysis and risk assessment. This means considering what you're getting out of the relationship and what that means you have to put into it. You might also want to think about how much risk you will be assuming in the situation if there is marriage children house Etc. How much risk would she be assuming in the situation? Is that what you want?

quietchaos215 · 2020-01-19T01:06:54+00:00

AWALT

2020-01-19T05:47:23+00:00

She'll make it easy for you when she forces you to decide between marriage and breaking up. Since she hasn't done that, she must be pretty young.

Up to you what you want to do at this point, but women that match your age only get worse and worse as time goes on. Eventually you'll be looking out at a dating market completely flooded with divorced single moms, unless you date exclusively much younger women.

ilikegiantrobots · 2020-01-18T20:37:44+00:00

Gantz_au has it right this sub is about making a path that’s right for yourself. If your not living together then keep doing what your doing but keep your eyes open and don’t ignore red flags. In the end the only person responsible for your happiness is you so just don’t screw yourself over.

2020-01-18T20:48:29+00:00

You know your situation better than anyone else.

Maybe talk to her about it? See what she thinks and says. If you do, ramp up the conversation slowly.

Anyway, before giving concrete advice to someone, I would need much more background than what your current post contains. I do think that if you’ve been together for 5 years, that you should have talked about many issues and if you haven’t... you better start.

Example questions: what is your political orientation? What do you think about Trump (this one is gold and tells you a lot about a person with follow up questions which depend on what they initially say)? What do you think about feminism? What do you think about abortion? What do you think about women who sleep around a lot? What do you think about home schooling? What do you think about divorce? What do you think about climate change? If she has concerns about something, ask her for her solution to the problem (great to weed out useless complainers versus rational people) How many genders are there? Etc.

Basically, figure out what’s important to you and start talking about it. You can’t make a proper and rational decision without the adequate input. Also, don’t expect her to have the answers on the spot since she might spend most of her time thinking NPC sort of stuff.

K, hope that helped. Good luck.

2020-01-18T21:13:51+00:00

I will never recommend a guy living in a Western country to get married.

I wouldn't recommend any serious relationships either, but it's easier for me to say since I am now used to it and have zero emotional investment in this matter, unlike you.

I'm just going to say, put yourself first because no one else will, and prioritize your own self interest because no one else will. Then think long term with that lens. And let that guide you.

Equivalent-Craft · 2020-01-18T21:48:13+00:00

No reason to separate if yiur happy mate. Keep your finances separate do everything 50/50 no expceptions n dont have children👍

ATTOJ19 · 2020-01-18T23:47:24+00:00

I would definitely not break up with her, it sounds good NOW...but in the future if she starts showing some red flags that wouldn’t be in your best interest I would walk away. Always keep the red pill/mgtow mindset on deck.

2020-01-19T00:17:06+00:00

She's kind, smart, understanding, educated.

There's nothing inherently wrong in my relationship, I get along with her and after 5 years I feel like a part of her family and she feels like a part of mine. Her family loves me and her parents like having me around whenever we decide to go out as a whole.

However, reading up on how women use men for monetary reasons after a while, makes me wonder if I should just end it and avoid all the risk.

It sounds like you have something good going, but you are fearful that she may use you for monetary reasons. Well, is she doing that now? Who pays for what? Does she work? How is her financial situation?

She may in the future "use you for monetary reasons," and you should certainly respond to that, but if she's not doing that now, and she's good to you, why fix something that ain't broken? Obviously if she wants marriage, then that would create a legal problem for you. But again, if she's not pushing for that and is happy with the current arrangement, why fix something that ain't broken?

You should be careful with what you read in this sub. You kinda see the worst stages of MGTOW here: anger, bitterness, etc. MGTOW is not inherently against women. We can co-exist with them peacefully and even complement one another. You just need to have your boundaries clearly marked and respected. Failure to do that would lead to drastic measures, like the one you proposed: ending a long term relationship.

lowkey150 · 2020-01-19T06:42:34+00:00

Good on you man, the liberation will be unreal. Things may be fine, but there are many ways in which the relationship is probably hindering your development that are invisible because things 'seem' fine.

-stonedbaloney · 2020-01-18T20:07:28+00:00

Yikes

Title	Ending my long term relationship
Author	mmofrki
Upvotes	32
Comments	22
Date	January 18, 2020 8:04 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/eqlj36/ending_my_long_term_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/ending-my-long-term-relationship.376042 https://theredarchive.com/post/376042

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