Feeling conflicted

DangZagnut · 2019-02-06T02:50:11+00:00

The other side is more subconscious, feelings that come up that are currently beyond my control, that consist of me wanting to have a woman and finding love, wanting to be held and kissed and all that. Sappy, to say the least, but I just want to be upfront with everything I'm feeling.

This is not a criticism, just an observation. You didn't mention sex, so your priority isn't sexual needs, but apparently emotional needs, like being held, loved, etc. Which means you are in a dangerous place because of that motivation.

Now, there's nothing wrong with it. If your interests were just getting it wet then there's lots of ways to just get sex and just swipe on Tinder or find other means. There are plenty of thots that just want ONS and that kind of FWB relationship.

But since your desires are emotional and romantic, it's a different animal.

I say it's a dangerous place, because it's very easy to being taken advantage of when you're like that. You are attempting to get emotional needs met via another human being, instead of from yourself, and it very rarely works out. It's amazing when it can, but almost always someone loses interest in being either the provider of emotional energy, or they use it for manipulation and what am I getting out of this.

So it's kind of hard to come across that, unless you're willing to do a hands off type relationship where you can get those needs met, yet you maintain your own home and don't get married. And it's rare for women to be willing to offer that, without the corresponding resource transfer, and that's much more than the FWB or random thot.

So you will have to be really careful.

REMAINSkull · 2019-02-06T02:41:38+00:00

that’s that mother need, trust me that it’s not your want for a girlfriend it’s more having a girlfriend that could be a pseudo mother to you, It sounds good until you really get into it and wanna get out fast as possible.

Tchapppy · 2019-02-06T14:12:11+00:00

Happiness and fulfillment comes from within. Seeking fulfillment through anything external (relationships of any kind) will always lead to getting hurt. If you thrive from a place within yourself you will undoubtedly attract others whether it be romantic or platonic. You can’t seek fulfillment in others. Be comfortable in your own skin and allow others to join in on your “thing.” People come and go the only constant is you.

CoinSwapTrader · 2019-02-06T02:30:43+00:00

Bar Bar has a good video about "Male mother need"

QuantumSanta · 2019-02-06T02:47:17+00:00

You must have an all round life, which includes: hobbies, good friends, occupation and helping others. You are being pulled by genetics and your hormonal needs to do this.

Be strong, satisfy your own needs so your sexuality is under control. Otherwise, you will fall into a trap as many men have done before you.

Texian_Fusilier · 2019-02-06T04:10:47+00:00

When i went MGTOW, I quickly started to notice when I was dick thinking. When you know you're doing it, you eventually get the ability to blow it off. It becomes like the feelings are just simulated, essentially. It stops feeling real as it once did. The butterflies go away, about 90% or so. Post nut clarity helps a lot.

mgtowmale · 2019-02-06T07:29:24+00:00

Quick preamble: I got red pilled through my own experiences, before even knowing MGTOW was a thing.

The 'bad' news is that it will take time. Years, likely, to get through these feelings. Learning look inward for validation & love rather than outward, learning to accept that your "needs" as you know them will never be met, and learning that there are indeed plenty of joys in life aside from women. It's not a straight road, and you'll have to be patient with yourself. At least here, you have a limitless support network - which is more than many of us had!

We usually lose a lot of friends as a result of this change... most of the people we know will fight tooth and nail to prevent us changing. This is natural, and normal. People don't like being confronted with different ideas... and beyond that, they felt "safe" with the old version of you. The new one... isn't someone they even know, yet. You don't even know the new you yet - again, it'll take time.

In the meantime, learn and grow as best you can. Develop hobbies. Make new experiences. Do things you never thought you would or could do. Read endlessly - I personally love old memoirs since I learned a lot about what life could and should be like via the choices and results of these great men. My personal favourites would be Benvenuto Cellini's (available for free: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/4028), and Casanova's (if you can find a translation that suits you). Oh, and practice social skills - a massive and underappreciated aspect of social skills is establishing boundaries. Learning to say "no" is a vital part of this, and it sounds like you could use some practice!

For myself, since realizing the truth of women... it took maybe 5 years to really digest it fully and starting moving forward with fresh enthusiasm. Since then, I now life a poorer life, but do what I like - spent a long time travelling, am currently developing video games. Next, who knows - but I'll enjoy finding out.

As an aside, TFM's "red pill grief cycle" may be of use to you in this time: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5TF1325u6v3GJvcERdAkq0U0LRWbHVt3

Either way, good luck dude.

Title	Feeling conflicted
Author	CoyoteDanny
Upvotes	2
Comments	19
Date	February 6, 2019 2:26 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/anlvif/feeling_conflicted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/feeling-conflicted.513850 https://theredarchive.com/post/513850

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