TL;DR at bottom. New to reddit, so please forgive formatting errors, etc.

My wife and I have been friends since middle school, have been together since college, and have been married for a few years. We get along very well – we have similar interests, similar goals, and a great deal of respect and love for one another. It feels like the perfect relationship, except for, you know, the whole no sex thing.

She came out to me as asexual a while ago and said that she never wanted to have sex again, but that it wasn’t personal. Despite how that sounds, I’m summarizing weeks of long conversations into a sentence, and I can safely assure you that she is a) serious, b) not malicious, and c) genuinely saddened by the choice. It was not an easy thing for her to choose, but the alternative was more painful for her.

Since she came out, I’ve tried three therapists to work through this. Two of them we saw together as a kind of weird marriage counseling. The last one I saw alone with the express purpose of learning healthy coping mechanisms. The results were disheartening. Generally, they just tried to get my wife to have sex with me (completely missing the entire asexuality thing) and then, exasperated, told us to break up. Not really the advice I was looking for.

We also briefly tried an open relationship. I cleared everything with my wife first and started a dating profile online. I got a date after about three days and hit it off with a great woman who was sympathetic to my situation. After three fun dates, she expressed interest in pursuing a FWB situation. When I told my wife, she broke down crying and told me she couldn’t deal with the jealousy she was feeling. I broke things off, and that was the end of the open relationship.

Afterward, we had a talk. These were the conclusions: 1) she would understand completely if I needed sex to live a happy life, 2) she would not be having sex with me, and 3) if I decided I needed sex to be happy, we would divorce with no hard feelings.

At this point, I don’t really know what to do. A friend sent me here to ask you, the fine folks of the internet. So, do I say goodbye to sex forever and remain with the woman I love and the otherwise fantastic life we’ve built together? Or do I leave the most important person in my life, and try to find someone else to love in this hellscape of a world? Any advice? I’m open to anything at this point.

TL;DR – Should I leave my best friend and the love of my life because staying together would mean I never have sex again?

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EDIT: Answers to FAQ, in no particular order

1. If I go the divorce route, it means saying goodbye to her as a friend also. She has said that it would be too painful to remain in each others' lives after a failed marriage, and I agree. If the positions were switched, I would feel the same way. It would hurt like hell seeing her happy in a way I never could.
2. She really is asexual. It's not a hormone imbalance. She was not abused. Asexuality is her sexual orientation.
3. She's always been asexual, but didn't know for sure until just before she told me. She always used to think it was a phase she'd grow out of.
4. She's been consistently willing to try compromises and new arrangements. She's also just open about where her boundaries are.
5. Please understand that the post above is a summary, leaving out many details of a long and storied relationship. I realize this may sound willfully ignorant, but please do not assume this relationship is emotionally abusive, especially given only the facts above.
6. Prostitution is not legal where I live, so that's a difficult option to be sure.
7. I'm really good at masturbating. I don't mean to brag, but if it was an Olympic sport, I would feel comfortable trying out.
8. She knows I masturbate and has never ever had any objections. She 100% respects that it is necessary in an otherwise sexless relationship. She also respects my skill.

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