I [28] think my GF [24] of 4 years may be a golddigger. We are common law soon and some red flags have been driving me insane

462 points•302 comments•submitted by bueuu1 to r/relationship_advice

Hello,

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My girlfriend and I are going to be common law in about 4 months. I have reason to believe that she may be after my and my family's assets. My parents who are somewhat well off bought an apartment under my name last year. I collect rent from the tenants and give it to them so they can pay off the total. Legally it is mine, however, I mostly view it as my parents' investment.

My girlfriend has done several things in the past that has reason for my to believe she might be dating me for my money

  1. She never pays me for trips that we take. She never offers and when I ask her that she owes this amount to me, she brushes it off. Eg. She owes my parents 500 dollars for a flight. owes me 600 dollars for additional expense incurred after a trip abroad, and much more smaller expenses
  2. She rarely offers to pay me back for meals that I purchase. She gives me dirty looks when I ask her to pay for meals
  3. She was in school for a while and I can tell you now, if it wasnt for me, she would not be graduated. In the background, I supported her for food, shelter and recreational activities. She has not acknowledged my role played in her success. Even her dad (who cut her off) and her friends mention to her that I am a big reason but she has never acknowledged it to me
  4. She found out about my parents buying another apartment a month ago, and was angry at me for not telling her. I asked her why she cared and she could not answer me. She said that I lied to her and how our trust was broken. It is not her place to know about my parent's finances
  5. She asked me to meet with a family wealth adviser. I met him and found out he writes wills for parents to make sure that in the event they pass away, that the money would go to the right place. I am the heir to my parent's company as I am the only one in my family that works there. It appears that I will most likely be the owner when they retire. I rejected the thought that this guy should help us write this will. My girlfriend was very pushy for me to meet him
  6. She asked me if my parents put a property under my name. That is a weird question right?
  7. We live in the lower mainland, we rent cheaply from my family and she still bitches about how the quality is not very good. Wants them to pay for non-essentials such as painting, new cabinets, replace carpets
  8. Our sex life is not very good. She does not try anything new and only wants to do positions that she likes (missionary, thats it) We have sex 1-2 a month, and it is all planned. Never spontaneous. Doesn't like foreplay, never naturally wet.

Regardless of all the negatives. I love this girl and she is my first girlfriend. I've never had another partner before so I have no idea if these are normal feelings to have. We get along very well but her inability to do things that make my relationship experience better has made me question whether or not I should be with her. I am very comfortable with her personality cause we are both weird but I just can't shake the thought that she might be dating me for my money as well.

Ultimately, I was thinking about confronting her about being too nosy and meddling in my parent's finances. Is it unreasonable to for me to ask for a prenup? I want to keep our relationship going but there are too many red flags and if she really does sue me after we break up, she could have access to 500,000 dollars in assets.

Please give me your objective view of the situation.