Heading towards divorce

AeternusDoleo · 2019-03-25T15:28:41+00:00

Well, the MGTOW strategy is more about preventing divorce from happening in the first place... but I suppose a number of us had to bite that lemon...

DangZagnut · 2019-03-25T15:26:30+00:00

I'd recommend reading "How to fire your wife".

Maximum_Afternoon · 2019-03-25T17:31:20+00:00

Move all hard drives and USB drives out of the house. Move all tax records out. Move all vehicle titles out. Move all spare keys out. Move all personal photographs out (if you're old enough to have any). Change passwords on all accounts, and use an account manager like lastpass or keypass. find any old phones or tablets that may be logged into either of your accounts, and bring those with you. Leave your phone recording audio all the time. It's entirely possible that you will be accused of abuse after the fact. Change password on the Wi-Fi router, and then, if you can, log her devices in without telling her the new password. Also do the actual cable modem. This way you will still have access to that network.

CoinSwapTrader · 2019-03-25T16:05:30+00:00

Prepare in advance while everything looks good and relationship doing good...most men get destroyed because they wait till last minute for a plan to avoid getting destroyed

PrismMage · 2019-03-25T16:22:48+00:00

If you get a divorce, don’t ever get married again.

roxon89 · 2019-03-25T19:21:16+00:00

All of the advice given here is bad advice you if you live in the USA and probably in most places.

Do not conceal assets. If you are discovered, and you almost certainly will be, you will be in a world of hurt

A divorce is time for being completely emotionless. That is hard. But you must try as hard as you can. No yelling, no screaming. Now is the time for “just the facts ma’am.”

At its core, a divorce is a cold, hard contract negotiation. You must approach it as one.

Understand that the law does NOT care one lick about what is “right” or “fair” or “justice” or any of that shit. The law cares about the law and the law alone.

So consult a lawyer and find out what the laws are. Find out what your rights and obligations are UNDER THE LAW. You will hear and read many stories about men being divorced raped but that does not necessarily have to be you.

My divorce raping was very mild. In fact, I wouldn’t even call it a raping. I’m happy with the deal I got. Read my posting called “how to avoid divorce rape.”

jkarovskaya · 2019-03-25T16:05:32+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/mgtowbooks/comments/70mgy5/how_to_fire_your_wife_a_guide_for_married_men_to/

click to download PDF

klim_milk · 2019-03-25T19:42:28+00:00

Depends on where you are and whether you have kids and whether you have assets.

Get a lawyer.
Do not leave the house. You surrender it to her.
Install cameras to protect yourself from the false accusations. She can file a Protection Order against you so that you become unemployable; then when you can't pay child support you get jailed.

Visit this forum: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewforum.php?f=12&sid=393e9933bc506126adab9cbd92b469bf

From here: https://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/b4ewrc/tips_for_those_thinking_about_divorce/

First, you need to determine if your in a community property state or not. If your in a community property state. Then the law assumes all communal property (property acquired during the marriage) is shared 50/50. This includes income, tax returns, stock dividends, appreciation, etc.

Next, you need to consult an attorney and collect evidence. DO NOT FILE A NO FAULT DIVORCE IF YOU CAN PROVE THEY ARE AT FAULT! If your attorney suggests otherwise, get a different attorney. When you have found a "good" attorney file divorce and serve the other creature in your life.

An old post: https://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/84fa0p/wife_position_eliminated_tips_for_divorce/

For those of you still married or in the divorce crucible: The only way out is through. My divorce tips for men in the US:

Don't move out of the martial residence unless ordered by the court. This is the number one mistake men make, because we have been socially conditioned to fall on our sword. Yes, this is difficult and awkward. I did it for twelve months. Completing a divorce quickly is all about providing incentive to the other party. When you move out during divorce, you'll be paying child+spousal support on top of utilities and mortgage and she will have exclusive use of the home. At that point, she has everything she wants and there's no reason for her to settle for less than whatever entitlements divorced hens are whispering in her ear. She will bleed you dry, and then you'll sign whatever shitty deal she presents just so you can be done.

From day one, set your sights on trial and communicate that to your attorney. While only 5% of divorces are resolved by trial, having trial scheduled as a backstop during the mediation process is highly effective. Again, it's about incentives. She can either settle now on a known equitable outcome, or spend tens of thousands on a trial where a stranger in robes will decide. Her hamster brain will go berserk.

If you have children, 50% parenting time is your hill to die on. Joint physical custody is not presumptive in my state (nor in many states). I had absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain by setting my sites on trial when she told me "you don't deserve to be with the kids half the time". Status quo is the greatest bias of the court. If you have time before divorce is filed, spend at least six months documenting involvement with your kids: parent/teacher meetings, doctor/dentist appointments, extracurricular involvement, and anything else that establishes you as Superdad. If you have to involve a custody evaluator or guardian ad litem, a journal demonstrating how you are Superdad will be more effective than documenting your opinion about how your wife is mean to you or the kids.

Maintain radio silence. If you have children, the only thing you discuss with her are things about the kids. Never telegraph your game plan. Learn how to tune your Don't Give a Fuck Meter so your frame is unwavering. Her hamster brain will be more of an ally to you than trying to have a logical discussion with her.

Carry a digital audio recorder 24/7/365 to protect yourself against false DV allegations. Avoid being alone with her as much as you can to minimize the opportunity she has to allege DV.

Another one: https://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/89950c/even_chad_mcpower_gets_divorced_never_marry_men/dwq8qtj/

That's run of the mill my friend. There's basically a playbook all lawyers for plaintiffs (women) use and it goes like this:

Blindside with fake domestic abuse order/vacate premises

Make up fake child abuse allegations, use female and male family members/friends as character witnesses

Shoot for the moon temporary orders to set precedent for divorce decree standards

Limit visitation as much as possible for the defendant, time with children= cash for plaintiff.

Offer to settle with the defendant without his own legal counsel to catch the defendant before he gets "wise".

https://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/aw7d5g/so_you_wanna_get_married/

Do not leave the matrimonial home. Never ever do that. Why? Because if you leave, you will have to find a place to stay, pay for that, and pay the mortgage on the house, and child support, and spousal support. This is the biggest mistake that men make. You gotta pay all that other shit, why pay rent too. Let her take it out of her spousal support. See, you just reduced her spending cabbage to boot.

Lawyers: Do not get a 'Family' lawyer. So gynocentric you wouldn't believe it. I kind of failed there, so take it from me. After I fired my "family' law firm lawyer, I went with a mid size law firm with some good reviews. Keep in contact with your lawyer regularly, your cheating cvnt ex wife will do everything she can to keep you away from your kids, so only contact, minimal, through email. Never, ever use profanity on ANY communication, no matter how much she is trying to fvck you over. It will come back to kick you later.

Do not agree to face to face conferences. Conferences are necessary, but they are very expensive. For example, you are paying to have your lawyer travel to her lawyers office at $300 an hour, both ways, the meeting will go 2 hours, you are looking at $1200 for that meeting. Do it over the phone. Another reason, you may get pissed off during the meeting, you can mute the phone. Trust me, you'll be muting the phone.

What the Separation agreement and Divorce decree state depends on the jurisdiction, I will not go too much into that. But afterwards, you are now in the arms of big momma government. I say that because all the courthouses, clerks and at least half the lawyers are female. So fvckin steel up buddy, you gotta have your shit together.

LEARN TO DO PAPERWORK YOURSELF: Since 2016, I have learned to write affidavits, serve papers, and self represent on my own. I am not post secondary educated. I am a tradesman with some vocational college and that is it. What you have to do, is find local law workshops. They will teach you how to do everything I have mentioned above. Now, you are saying 'I can't do that, I need a lawyer.' Here's the rub though. The reason I needed to learn it was my divorce went through in 2014, and the economy went in the toilet in 2015, and by January 2016, I had nearly 0 income and 2k a month in spousal and child support. Absolutely no money for legal help, serving papers or going to court. Now if I would have went into court with a lawyer, the justice would have looked at me and said 'If you can afford a lawyer, you can afford to pay.' Because I could prove the hardship I was under I saved about 20k in legal expenses and spousal support payments. She had a lawyer too. I held my own. When you are self representing you will see how much you overpay for legal representation. I am not saying it is not always necessary, but if you can keep some of that cash in hand why not? I actually came out on top about 75-80% of the time, because I was squeaky clean.

If you have heard of 'Silver Bullets' prepare yourself, because they are coming at you now. I have had nearly every kind of terrible thing said about me, every kind of allegation, accusation and been investigated by Child Family Services, RCMP and Non Governmental Organization (psychologists) for child welfare. You have to be squeaky clean. She will say anything she wants, she ended the marriage with lies, why stop now. Her affidavits will be full of lies, and every word that comes out of that cocksucker will be a lie, so you gotta be ready. Any interactions with law enforcement that are 'Unfounded' i.e. untrue, get the reports through access to information, as well as any reports from any other government outfits. I did and she destroyed her own credibility with her own lies. When you do go to court and you are self represented, always talk to duty counsel, always be early, always be clean shaven and dress well. Respect the court. Always stand when speaking to the Justice. Watch some Judge Judy to see how you will be treated if you slouch or mumble. If you are righteous, and squeaky clean, the courts will assist you in your endeavours. They are there in your name, and at your expense. Remember that. Respectful, but for fvck sakes be a man.

These are things that took a lot of sweat to find out on my part. If these pointers can help anyone out there get through the shit show she started, I am happy to help. After all this is done, I am sure most men will be very intrigued by MGTOW, and for you younger gents- I was in love with my ex too. She changed the fvckin day after the wedding, the DAY after. You know why? Because they know as soon as you say I DO, they fvckin gotcha. And the woman you divorce, in no way shape or form resembles the woman you married.

In the spirit of true MGTOW Brotherhood, if anyone has any more pointer for men that are needing guidance, this is the time to show what a supportive bunch we are. Put it in the comments below.

DWShimoda · 2019-03-25T19:45:19+00:00

MGTOW isn't really about "divorce" -- it's about AVOIDING getting caught up in the whole marriage/divorce trap to begin with.

As for the situation you're in... go do a search on the phrase: "fire your wife."

Jonlife · 2019-03-25T19:42:58+00:00

There's really no excuse for you if you were born after the internet and still chose to get married. People who get married today are no better than people who smoke meth or heroine. You got what you wanted and it's going to ruin your life.

People like me will take your stories and learn from them. And I'll always have the same response... "it could have been worse, could have been me."

greyman0425 · 2019-03-25T20:26:09+00:00

Lawyer up

RedMeatTrinket · 2019-03-25T20:27:16+00:00

Anything of sentimental value, lock it away somewhere that she can't get to. You'll still have to list it out in all assets so you're not hiding anything. I lost all my childhood photos from before I knew my ex. She said "she didn't have them".

Also, do an inventory and take pictures.

Get a mean, asshole, attorney to represent you. He'll cost more but you'll come out ahead in the end.

What others are saying here, don't delay anything. Get everything done early. Waiting puts you at a disadvantage.

Record or save every conversation that you can.

Limit communication with her to only what is necessary. The law in on her side.

Don't use just one friend or family member to run to and sob about everything. They'll get tired of it all after a few months and push you away. You need to spread that whining around and give others a rest. You are the only one that has to suffer through the entire process.

In the end, you will have completed the final step to becoming a man. You will have endured a process and laws that have been designed against you to make you suffer as much as possible.

Then, you can start to recover and become MGTOW.

For me, I didn't do any of this. I sucked. I lost 3 kids and ended up in bankruptcy. Here I am at retirement age and am just now recovered enough to have a little fun at the end of my life.

Title	Heading towards divorce
Author	stewbert123
Upvotes	14
Comments	15
Date	March 25, 2019 3:21 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/b5byto/heading_towards_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/heading-towards-divorce.492805 https://theredarchive.com/post/492805

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