How do I stop?

Pope_Lucious · 2017-07-13T03:49:56+00:00

She's using you in a beta orbiter capacity. She doesn't respect you or care about you. You're a plaything to her. Focus on achieving your goals and put her behind you as best you can.

sweet_samsara · 2017-07-13T03:58:37+00:00

Think about it from her end. She maybe thinks you're a good looking, fun dude. She finds out that you're leaving your shitty job and her behind to make a future for yourself, for a job that makes easily average $90k-120k+ within a couple of years. That's security. That's a great provider for when she's in her late 20s and she's looking to fall back on someone else's income, a ticket to an easy life.

If she fucks you now, will you remember her? What if she leaves you wanting, leaves a little sting that will take months to heal, the thoughts that will ruminate on what could have been, how you guys would laugh, walk home together, maybe have wild sex afterwards and talk all night about how you'll miss each other while you're overseas. For weeks, your mind will ruminate on how that should have been you. Random little things will remind you of it. Yeah that sounds better, she'll wait for you at the finish line once you're loaded instead.

I guaran-fucking-tee you this bitch will be hitting you up in a few years, wanting to innocently "meet up for coffee" when she finds out you have a nice salary job. Have a plan for this.

edit: out of curiosity, what emoji did she text you on your last day?

DThrillard · 2017-07-13T04:41:03+00:00

This is textbook, bro. Girls pull this shit with guys they may want to settle down with in the future. Falls under the same "you're the kind of guy I want to marry, not date" that some poor fuckers actually take as a compliment. She wants to keep you wanting more of her, have your interest at the optimal level so she can walk back into your life when it suits and she's had her fill of rando cock.

There's really no answer until you hit the metaphorical "Wall of Pain". Where you simply have had enough, refuse to take the injustice, and absolutely walk away from the situation. This applies to all things such as your job, friends, family, projects, bitches, anything. People have a certain limit they'll eventually hit when they get shit on enough, and that's when they act. It sounds like you're at the Wall, so take heart in it. It's a good thing.

If I were you, I'd just walk and not look back. The next time she hits you up (and she will), keep it simple yet effective. "You're not welcome in my life in any capacity. Lose this number and never contact me again".

scaur · 2017-07-13T14:20:01+00:00

By some miracle I got accepted into software engineering but at a school that is overseas.

Don't waste it.

secant128 · 2017-07-13T04:03:08+00:00

Majority of young women act flirtatious around other men around their age to seek attention and reassure their worth or SMV around men. They don't actually want that particular man they just want to know that their SMV is high enough to attract these men. It's more important for them to know that they are valuable to men in general than just one man. In simpler terms, they are just whoring around, so don't take things so seriously. Flirting with you does not necessarily mean she's interested in you.

MrMischiefVIP · 2017-07-13T03:53:46+00:00

I wish I could stop but my body desires the physical touch! How do you just fucking stop and rise above it all?

Hookers

Okay honestly I don't have an answer, I've never done the hooker thing before but I suspect it'd help. In general from reading your story though and what little I think I know about women, I'd guess that she was interested in you to some degree. But like every woman when she saw the branch she was holding start to leave she reached for another, and then another. Hard shitty lesson to learn, I'm probably still learning it, but at least you got out of this one with just some emotional damage (it sounds like) and you're not stuck paying her for the next 18 years for a kid that may or may not be yours.

mentalidade_logica · 2017-07-13T04:04:23+00:00

She is using the other guy to make you want her even more and it worked, as per your comments. She is playing mind games with you.

Think of yourself first and foremost by following up with the plans you set for yourself and if she happens to fit into your plans, fine, if not, it's not a big deal. If you get desperate for physical attention hire a professional - no head games and your needs are met.

JayJayEcks · 2017-07-13T04:00:26+00:00

At some point, if it's inside you, you'll simply run out of fucks to give. Negative fucks, even. If you have fire inside you. This is key.

Then, you need a way to mitigate the thirst. The biological urge to merge. There are ways to get around this.

Here is where I get philosophical.

Your illusion of life has been compromised.

The simulation is now distorted.

You are now seeing what the world is really like, underneath it all.

The you must accept the following:

The current you, as you are, must die.

And in his place, a new you must be reborn as the man that has the potential to become more than who you are now.

A new man, a red pilled man, forged in the fire of pain, regret, and suffering...ready now to go your own way. Living now, eventually dying, as you dream... alone.

UglyPrince2000 · 2017-07-13T08:27:45+00:00

I had the opposite happen to me. This girl at work would always try to undermine me and made sarcastic comments about me when I talked. When I entered a room, she would have this sour look on her face and bolt out the door, almost as if my presence disgusted her. Mind you I was never mean to her or anything, she was just a cunt to me! I think she was dating a guy or something at the time because she would always post pics on facebook with the same dude. Anyways, I find another job and about 2 months later she tried to add me on facebook. She would text me saying how I was doing and that she wanted to meet up. I was like no haha wtf!? I told her don't you have a boyfriend? She said he was just a "friend", long story short I never talked to her again I moved on, I never liked her but fucking wierd she kept treating me bad! I saw her one time at the store and she tried to talk to me but like forest said" nigga I was running"! LMFAO

MethaCat · 2017-07-13T04:56:17+00:00

If you won't stop by yourself, you will be stopped by someone else. Your choice.

TheExSexOffender · 2017-07-13T06:27:54+00:00

So I blocked her on everything I could. I will be going to europe for a few years so I'll probably never see or hear from her again.

Good. Because your job now soldier is to go fuck the hell out of all the whores in Europe when you want, how you want.

mdcrubengonza · 2017-07-13T15:02:15+00:00

Sounds like you are still on the fence. Keep chasing pussy. When you get tired, if you haven't been murdered by a gash, and if you haven't killed yourself, come back. We'll still be here.

SRod1706 · 2017-07-13T15:21:18+00:00

You are just an beta orbiter. Stop talking to her. She will try to guilt, shame and carrot you back into the role. The only hope you have is to wait around a few years for her then help her raise someone else's kids.

If you want sex, get a prostitute. If you want to find a women to love you for you and not what you can give her, you are out of luck. This is the same as wanting to ride a dinosaur.

You are at the age where 80% of the girls are fucking the 10%-15% Chads. That is what women your age want. Don't fault them for it, just understand that it is how they are wired and taught. They may act like they want a relationship with Chad, but they don't. They want to have "fun". The other 20% are too fucked up or too ugly for Chad's and you to deal with.

Is this the perfect life promised in the movies? No. It is simply reality. Whether you go MGTOW or not, reality is the same. Understanding it lets you make informed decision. Just like the reality that this girl wants everything from you that she would get from a boyfriend including taking her out and paying, without having sex with you. It you want to have a one sided friendship with her where you are always giving what she needs and not getting in return, that is your choice. Just know what you are choosing. Reality is not TV, Movies or books. You will not woo a woman. She wants to have sex with you or she does not. Later as women get close to the wall you will be able to seemingly woo a woman, but that is really you just showing how many bux you are willing to put in your beta bux role.

FractalPrism · 2017-07-13T22:08:11+00:00

-she hears you're moving on
-she hooks up with someone within 1 day (turbo-slut, to escape the feels of never landing you)
FLAG ONE
-realizes she wants you and leaves him / or she gets ditched for being lame
FLAG TWO
-comes back and says she wants you right away. (fickle whore)
FLAG THREE
-claims to be "glad i waited" ("after impatiently hooking up, having that failure of a hookup end") (slut / lie)
FLAG FOUR
-professes interest (lie)
FLAG FIVE
-suggests getting you drunk so your judgement is shit (manipulation)
FLAG SIX
-ignores your coms (lazy / bitch / flake)
FLAG SEVEN
-lies about it getting your coms
FLAG EIGHT
-neglects to take initiative to hang out after her expression of sincere interest to hang out (lazy)
FLAG NINE
-posts pix of datenight with yet another guy (bitch, "look at what you're missing")
FLAG TEN

look.
you're ignoring the bullshit cuz you're too invested in sex or validation.

stop ignoring it.
notice the flags.
change your choices when you see a flag.
stop "trying to make it work"
stop "being available"
stop thinking you're crazy, you're not.
you're just being a cognitively dissonant idiotic doormat.

you're the one pulling the rug every time you ignore a flag.
NEVER BLAME THE GIRL. (even though shes at fault for all that bullshit)
blame your "radar for bullshit" AND FIX IT.

you got this soldier!

OptimusFried · 2017-07-13T19:57:58+00:00

How do you just fucking stop and rise above it all?

For me it was turning 35. The big head took over.

_Hachiman_Hikigaya_ · 2017-07-13T07:49:20+00:00

Just ignore her and pursue your goals. You are not missing anything. With marriage or with out marriage we are always alone. It is the time to think about You. Be strong and ignore her OP.

301niko · 2017-07-13T08:11:59+00:00

What the fuck bro, im in the same position as you are career wise. Don't let her disrespect like that and you took off too late as well. This is not trp but escalation should be quicker. Keep working, take care.

robowriter · 2017-07-13T10:54:08+00:00

Your filed under the category future guys who'll pay for baby.

eightgaydiamonds · 2017-07-13T17:18:42+00:00

Dont give her emotional validation

Title	How do I stop?
Author	menshouldhaverights
Upvotes	24
Comments	27
Date	July 13, 2017 3:45 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/6mz5in/how_do_i_stop/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/how-do-i-stop.573793 https://theredarchive.com/post/573793

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