I'm not good at talking

Rhaello · 2018-01-07T08:02:56+00:00

You were bullied because you were the easiest to spot, bullies are like predators they smell whos the weakest chain. If you want to pick up girls, you first got to start talking to men. What do men like to talk about? men like talking about the adventures and stories theyve accomplished. Basically braging about each others conquests in life. Talking is B.S. I learn how to talk well to men and women in order to survive. The more pleasent I made them, the more I would get access to things that otherwise wouldnt be available. You have to understand to relate to emotinal things, women are emotional creatures. For example when talking about your father, don't say he's a piece of trash. Say thanks to my dads way of treating me, that help me become a better person a life. I learn so and so from that experience. Always comes down to your experiences as a human being. Connecting with people is an emotional act. LIfe has no maps, life is random and you must make what you can from it. If you never find that map its okay. Guide yourself from others and abstract from them what would be an ideal life for yourself.

tribalbandit · 2018-01-07T07:20:10+00:00

My first recommendation would be martial arts. It will help you understand your pain limits as you force yourself to allow others to hurt you again and again. You will learn much about your body as well, gaining much confidence even in group situations.

Find a way to engage in topics with people you disagree with. Be sincere in your disagreements and stalk yourself. Do not be afraid of being wrong, and be willing to research when points are made on you in the push/pull of the debate. Use when you are wrong to study why you were wrong, and over time you will understand yourself, your frames of reference you were given that you do not question. Once you understand this, it will give you a doorway to fluidity.

Verbal Judo and women. Women are not as good at this as you believe. In fact, women are horrible at this and rely on being irrational as their fallback to winning. The key to understand here is it only works if there is something you want from them. If you withdraw that from the equation, it disarms the usefulness of their illogical temper tantrum/bullying judo.

lostapwbm · 2018-01-07T08:26:57+00:00

I am asking how can I get better at this? Are there books that will help me be a better conversationalist? Or at least show me the principles behind it all so I can get better on my own?

Yes. As a fellow non-talker, I feel your pain. I'm not shy, but I don't make small talk easily.

Crucial Conversations

Women are so good at verbal judo. I've been trying to read more so I can absorb new ways of thinking and I can learn how to win in conversations.

Women aren't good at 'verbal judo.' They are adept at manipulation. They've been practicing it for most of their lives, long before most men even think about it, if they ever do.

Emotional Manipulation

I don't wanna go out like PUAs. But you can only get better by doing and not theorizing. I need a map of where I'm going. I'm asking you guys for a map.

Unfortunately, the only way to get better at talking is by talking.

IronMeltsinmyHands · 2018-01-07T10:11:46+00:00

I'd argue that that's not a skill worth having, especially if you start from way in the back. I just don't speak to people I don't want to speak to, and if I have to speak to people I don't want to speak to, I heavily compartmentalize. I've been doing that for a few years and so far it works wonders.

I thought everyone wanted to live in peace and not have any conflicts.

People love conflict, as long as they think they can win or at least get away with it. But there's nothing to be gained trying to pick a fight with someone who just won't take the bait and engage them.

Take office drama. No one will be able to get any dirt on you if all you do is talk about work and avoid being alone with female coworkers.

I'll say it again and again : when it comes to this world and the refuse that inhabit it, the only winning move is not to play.

2018-01-07T10:48:03+00:00

[deleted]

dogwoodcat · 2018-01-07T13:26:10+00:00

Everyone should read Nonviolent Communication, you can ignore all the crap about "connection", it is direct, hardcore emotional manipulation.

iracundiarock · 2018-01-07T17:41:53+00:00

Think of it like offerings. Try to offer various things in the conversation, whether it be humor or an interesting fact or an opinion or a story. If they don't like it, then offer another thing. For girls, just ask a bunch of personal questions and remain mysterious.

LovePeace3000Angels · 2018-01-08T00:54:50+00:00

why not go out like PUAs. you think you'll get good at talking by reading a book? You think you'll get good at playing football by reading about football?

Poofysmoof · 2018-01-08T02:57:05+00:00

“No more Mr nice guy,” explains why you were conditioned to be the way you are. More likely you were raised by a single mother, a over bearing one, or had a weak father. It’s harder for those men to fit in with the boys as per se. That book was great at identify many issues in people, then there are a ton of YouTube videos how to be Alpha. I know that’s more TRP speak but those issues if corrected will change your life. Good luck

Title	I'm not good at talking
Author	IronMeltsinmyHands
Upvotes	22
Comments	11
Date	January 7, 2018 7:06 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/7op8ra/im_not_good_at_talking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/im-not-good-at-talking.611020 https://theredarchive.com/post/611020

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