Well boys, I've done it. I've always known that I'm a spineless moron, but this solidifies it.

Despite all of my knowledge of mgtow philosophy and seeing the capabilities of women first hand. Despite seeing how my ex acts and what type of person she is. Despite all of these red flags and giant warning signs smashing me in the face, I let her move back in because I thought it would be best for my son.

I had an out. She moved away. Far away. She fucked up and sucked up to me when she realized how bad she fucked up. She played the nice manipulative game. She convinced me to give it another shot. She kept me as a backup plan and used that at the exact moment she needed it.

And you know what? I let it happen. Even knowing full well this exact thing would happen. Even having the option to ghost her ass. Even with all of this knowledge and foresight I still fucked up. Again.

I fully blame myself. My mom said "oh give it a try" and "oh you're not a backup plan", while my dad screamed the polar opposite. He said "dont do it", "stop talking to her". Why did I listen to my mother? What the fuck have I done?

Now she is living here. It's been less than a week and things are already going to shit again. I honestly believe that I'm an absolute fucking moron with no balls at all. Maybe trannies are right, and I'm a woman inside a man's body.

I don't know what to do. No wait, I do know what to do. I need to tell her to fuck back off and ghost her for good. It's so fucking hard but my son is almost 16 and maybe when he's a bit older he will understand. Maybe he will come stay with me once he's had enough of her bullshit.

I don't know why I'm posting this here. Maybe I'm looking to vent. Maybe I need some guidance. Maybe I'm lost in this world and I don't know if I'll ever find whatever the fuck it is I was born for, because this sure as hell ain't it.