So the ex called. "Just to say hi." Right... Any time she ever got around to calling me it was because she needed something. Finally after about 2 whole minutes of small talk she spits it out. Obviously she's indirect about it, because god forbid she stops wasting any more of my time and just asks for it...

Her: "You don't know anyone who can watch my new dogs do you?" Me: "No." "Why can't you?" Her: "Well he and I want to hang out his place for the week, but the problem is my dogs and can't stay at his apartment."

Keep in mind, I'm aware of what she's doing here. For whatever reason she just can't fucking come out and ask for things. She needs to manipulate people into offering to do them. This is a common occurrence. In this case she wants me to take care of her dogs for the week so that she can go over and give her new boyfriend the most sex he's ever going to get out of the relationship. But first she'll probably have him clean her car, his car, clean his own apartment and then cook her dinner... (she doesn't cook)

I cannot believe I almost married this terrible woman.

So I think to myself long and hard and I get a terrible idea. Fuck it.

Me: "You have dogs now!?"

Her: "....."

Me: "Fine. but I want 50 bucks."

Her: "You can't just do me a favor for once!?"

Me: "I did. I said yes."

I was with this chick for 3 years I know all of her games at this point.

So I get to her place and I get the cash up front because fuck her. She shows me where food is and where the leashes are then she takes me into the room where her dogs are.

They were three 100-150 pound monsters, mutts, not exactly sure what breed they were. She got them after we broke up.

She told me she hated dogs.

They didn't mind me and so off she went to tend to her slave, who she'll control with either half ass selfish sex or the best he's ever had. It all depends on her mood and what she wants.

That night I go over to her place to feed the beasts I pour them their food, I replace their water and I sit at the kitchen table. At this point I'm regretting my decision, I would rather be at home and I still need to walk these things.

At this point I get an idea. A terrible idea. A rotten no good idea. What if instead of walking the dogs, I just go home?

...

The next morning I get back to her place, I feed the beasts I change the water and head off.

...

That night I get back to her place, I feed the dogs I change the water and I head off."

She calls

Her: "Heyy just calling to check up on the dogs I hear his voice in the background she gives off a fake flirtatious laugh.

Me: "Great! One of them had a little accident, but it's all taken care of."

Her: "Okay well let me kno if anything goes wrong " Me: "Sure thing." Click

I go home.

...

The next morning I get back to her place, I feed the beasts I change the water and head off.

...

That night I get back to her place, I feed the dogs I change the water and I head off."

...

The next morning I get back to her place, I feed the beasts I change the water and head off.

...

That night I get back to her place, I feed the dogs I change the water and I head off."

At this point there are atleast 30 mounds of shit scattered throughout the apartment and piss all over the couches, the walls and by the way trash was scattered all over the kitchen and there were multiple pools of vomit on the floor as well as all over all of the dogs fur I'm guessing that one dog got into something and threw up and all three dogs played the puke eat puke game that every dog lover has nightmares about.

She's coming back tonight. She's called me 14 times through out the week to check on the dogs and I have to admit they're doing great. After that third night I could not bare to leave the dogs in that apartment. I loaded them into my truck and brought them back to my house where they were I bathed and able run around in a yard and shit and piss on green grass.

  • To be continued